Amelia Kearney was late and once you were late in New York City, once you have shown the city that you are in the need to get somewhere quickly you can rest assured that every possible roadblock and annoyance the city has in it's grasp it will happily throw at you. She'd been five minutes from the end of her shift at Saks when one of her best customers showed up with a fashion emergency. The dress she'd been planning to wear simply would not do,it didn't fit, it didn't suit the event, it just wasn't what she had imagined she'd be wearing and she must have something fabulous (and new) to wear immediately.The hounds on her floor hovered near by listening to the woman's frantic manic explanations, all of them chomping at the bit hoping beyond hope that Amelia would choose to pass the woman off to one of them and in doing so giving them the opportunity to poach the woman for good. Amelia could hardly afford to give them that chance her footing as a personal shopper had not quite taken root so she stayed and smiled and pulled clothes and arranged for accessories to be sent to the dressing room. Her client had been pressed for time herself which meant she was far more agreeable than normal so while she'd been there an hour and a half later than she had planned it had gone much smoother than the usual appointment would have. The woman always hesitated rarely making fashion decisions on the first appointment, usually waiting until her back was up against the wall and she had no choice but to make a choice. Having to make a decision on the fly, to have total trust in Amelia's eye and choices was the only thing that saved her. Her client had left the store primped, pampered and red carpet ready. Most importantly though she'd been happy. Amelia meanwhile was a total mess, inwardly flustered and left with an hour to get all of her own errands accomplished in time to get to the subway and get back to Queens where her own plans for Friday night were waiting for her. She had to nix the whole getting home to shower and change in the comforts of her own place, the music blaring her cat Lizzy winding in and out of her legs getting her hair all over her brand new Donna Karen shift and Alexander McQueen heels. She'd been coveting both for some time, the dress had finally gone clearance the day before and she had snapped it up before her shift had started hanging it on the back of the door of one of the stockrooms. The shoes had been a return that her friend Brenda had alerted her to that very afternoon. Brenda was the Queen of 10022-shoe a title she'd fought long and hard for and one given her ability to sell a thousand dollar shoe to someone a day away from bankruptcy (and have them walk out of the store feeling like they were on top of the world) she was unlikely to relinquish any time soon. Brenda who was in her early forties but didn't look like she was a day over thirty, still received the ire of all of the other associates on the floor who felt that she had already stayed past her expiration date. High end sales could be very competitive and even though Brenda had a degree in fashion marketing and had worked her way up to her current station everyone else around her was always looking for an way to take her throne. Amelia wasn't sure how it happened but along the way she had become Brenda's pet project. Two and a half years later she had worked her way up as well.
This hadn't been her dream when she'd moved to New York but circumstance had caused her to take a few detours and she'd landed on her heels in one of the most prestigious and well known department stores in the world. She had built a small faithful clientele and had slowly earned a reputation as someone with an good eye and an honest opinion. She never let anyone leave with something that did not suit them, which meant she may not make as much commission as others right off but her desire to make sure the client actually liked, looked good in and wore what they purchased meant that she got more repeat customers. It helped she supposed that she was not rail thin ( food was something she simply could not give up and regulated exercise something she simply abhorred) and had to work like many of the people who shopped with her to find things that looked good on her body. She hadn't changed who she was to fit the mold of the fashion ideal, she'd just maneuvered her way through it finding the stuff that suited her and helped her look her best. She shifted in her seat, sure that the guy across the car from her was doing his very best to look up her dress from behind his dark glasses and tried not to let out another sigh. She'd planned on getting her hair blown out at the salon by her friend Kris but had to settle for a bit of product run through her auburn hair and having it piled into a sleek high ponytail. She'd gotten dressed in the salon bathroom and stole a few moments at the Chanel make-up counter to put her face right and had practically run down the escalators and down the block to subway missing the first E train back to Queens by a foothold in the car door. She just couldn't bring herself to put her new shoe in to save her the wait for another train. She'd paced and cursed while waiting for the next one to arrive and prayed that the messages she had left while dashing to the subway had been received and her requests would be met. As she neared her stop she gathered her things and did her best not to make eye contact with the guy who was now openly leering at her. Douchebag, asshole she thought as she passed him. She tried to shake the ick of him off her as she made her way through the stop and out to find now darkened sky. "Shit Shit Shit Shit" she muttered to herself. She was so fucking late and of course there was no bus waiting for her at the stop. The line was at least two buses long and of course there was no possible way two would come back to back when she needed them to which meant she'd either be two people from the door when the driver closed it or smooched next to some other douchebag and have to push and shove and curse her way off the bus at her stop. She could hoof it which at the moment would probably be faster but she could already feel a blister starting to form on the back of her right heel. She looked around trying to decide which move to make. She really really should have remembered to put that blister block in her bag. She said a few more not so silent curses and then decided she just would have to risk it, live with the possible pain later and make a dash for her destination. She maneuvered her way though the street traffic of the neighborhood recognizing a few faces and acknowledged them with a nod or a slight smile but she didn't slow down. No one would take offense they all had been there, they all could sympathize. Normally Amelia wouldn't care if she was a bit late hell for most people in the city it was almost expected but tonight her plans involved the one person in her life who absolutely hated when people were late and the one person who was sure to give her shit for it. Being that today was his almost birthday and the event she was late for was his almost birthday party this was sure to get her at least six months of snide comments and daily reminders whenever they were supposed to see one another. Adam Rice was Amelia's closest friend in New York and on Sunday he was turning thirty. A milestone birthday, a party he'd been planning since the year before and Amelia his best friend and co-host ( his word not hers and completely a figurehead title as he'd done everything himself) was late. She looked down at her watch. Mother Fucking late. She rounded the corner of the block of his building and was relieved to see a short slightly balding heavy set man standing on the sidewalk a huge box in his hand.
This hadn't been her dream when she'd moved to New York but circumstance had caused her to take a few detours and she'd landed on her heels in one of the most prestigious and well known department stores in the world. She had built a small faithful clientele and had slowly earned a reputation as someone with an good eye and an honest opinion. She never let anyone leave with something that did not suit them, which meant she may not make as much commission as others right off but her desire to make sure the client actually liked, looked good in and wore what they purchased meant that she got more repeat customers. It helped she supposed that she was not rail thin ( food was something she simply could not give up and regulated exercise something she simply abhorred) and had to work like many of the people who shopped with her to find things that looked good on her body. She hadn't changed who she was to fit the mold of the fashion ideal, she'd just maneuvered her way through it finding the stuff that suited her and helped her look her best. She shifted in her seat, sure that the guy across the car from her was doing his very best to look up her dress from behind his dark glasses and tried not to let out another sigh. She'd planned on getting her hair blown out at the salon by her friend Kris but had to settle for a bit of product run through her auburn hair and having it piled into a sleek high ponytail. She'd gotten dressed in the salon bathroom and stole a few moments at the Chanel make-up counter to put her face right and had practically run down the escalators and down the block to subway missing the first E train back to Queens by a foothold in the car door. She just couldn't bring herself to put her new shoe in to save her the wait for another train. She'd paced and cursed while waiting for the next one to arrive and prayed that the messages she had left while dashing to the subway had been received and her requests would be met. As she neared her stop she gathered her things and did her best not to make eye contact with the guy who was now openly leering at her. Douchebag, asshole she thought as she passed him. She tried to shake the ick of him off her as she made her way through the stop and out to find now darkened sky. "Shit Shit Shit Shit" she muttered to herself. She was so fucking late and of course there was no bus waiting for her at the stop. The line was at least two buses long and of course there was no possible way two would come back to back when she needed them to which meant she'd either be two people from the door when the driver closed it or smooched next to some other douchebag and have to push and shove and curse her way off the bus at her stop. She could hoof it which at the moment would probably be faster but she could already feel a blister starting to form on the back of her right heel. She looked around trying to decide which move to make. She really really should have remembered to put that blister block in her bag. She said a few more not so silent curses and then decided she just would have to risk it, live with the possible pain later and make a dash for her destination. She maneuvered her way though the street traffic of the neighborhood recognizing a few faces and acknowledged them with a nod or a slight smile but she didn't slow down. No one would take offense they all had been there, they all could sympathize. Normally Amelia wouldn't care if she was a bit late hell for most people in the city it was almost expected but tonight her plans involved the one person in her life who absolutely hated when people were late and the one person who was sure to give her shit for it. Being that today was his almost birthday and the event she was late for was his almost birthday party this was sure to get her at least six months of snide comments and daily reminders whenever they were supposed to see one another. Adam Rice was Amelia's closest friend in New York and on Sunday he was turning thirty. A milestone birthday, a party he'd been planning since the year before and Amelia his best friend and co-host ( his word not hers and completely a figurehead title as he'd done everything himself) was late. She looked down at her watch. Mother Fucking late. She rounded the corner of the block of his building and was relieved to see a short slightly balding heavy set man standing on the sidewalk a huge box in his hand.
"Sammy thank GOD you are here." she ran right up to him and brought herself to a screeching halt. She'd have to have these shoes resoled after one wearing. "I am so sorry, thank you so much for bringing them" she gave Sammy a kiss on the cheek and opened up the box in his hands. A huge mound of cannolis stared back at her and she had to fight the urge to take one and down it on the ride up in the elevator. She was starving.
" You are the man" Sammy and his Mother ran Adams favorite bakery and while she'd arranged for the traditional cake ( already delivered and upstairs) these cannolis were Adam's favorite and a special treat from her to him. She gave Sammy a sheepish look and biting her bottom lip she asked for yet another favor." Do you think you could help me out by bringing them upstairs. Her hands were full with her work stuff, her present and another box of goodies she'd brought from Magnolia bakery on her lunch break. The cupcakes probably looked like hell by now but Adam's sister would probably not care one bit as long as she had them handy to devour.
" No problem. You just lead the way." Sammy a gentleman held the door open for her as she thanked him for his assistance. The elevator of course was not on the ground floor so as they waited they made small talk, she asked about his plans for the weekend, how his family was and he asked how her job was going and what (besides the cannolis) she'd gotten Adam for his birthday. When they got out on Adam's floor there were quite a few people milling around outside. Adam was friends with his floor mates and they had convinced the super to let them use the one empty apartment of the floor for the food and seating. Adam had rented tables and chairs and she had been over the night before to help set everything up. Most of the noise was coming from within that apartment but she got several hello's from people she knew as she walked past. She smiled and made promises to come back when her hands were empty and lead Sammy into the party apartment and towards the huge buffet of food that was lined up against the far wall of the living room. The guy who had owned this apartment had been an artist and had pretty much gutted it of walls, he said he needed clean lines and airiness to help him with his creative process so with the exception of the bathroom and the kitchen the it was one big open space. She called it Ari's lovely loft even now six months after Ari had moved to a three times this size REAL loft in the Meat Packing district. She had no idea how much his art cost but a couple of commissions with some big wigs in glass buildings in the finical district had moved him right into the big time and right into the city proper. When he'd told them she'd pretended to be thrilled for him but inside she been a steaming pile of jealousy. She'd almost broke her never sleep with an artist policy in the hopes that she'd have a chance at going with him. In the end though she'd stuck to her guns and waved goodbye with Adam as Ari's U-haul drove down their Kew Gardens street into a Manhattan bound sunset. She had seen him once since then holding court with his canvas and brushes in his newly christened corner of the Highline. He went there when he was blocked he told her to absorb the energy of the city and the people who flowed through it. She figured he really went there to have his ego stroked by tourists who'd be wide eyed and wondering ( who he was and if buying one of his paintings would make them money or gain them prestige down the line) and loose with the compliments. She knew that Adam had invited Ari to come to the party and she wondered if he would bother to come. Amelia rearranged some things on the table making room for Sammy who placed the box down and making quick work of it put the perfect pile of confectionery treasures in the middle of the space she had provided.
" You are welcome to help yourself to anything you'd like Sammy." She couldn't begin to thank him enough she knew he'd had a long enough day without adding this last minute delivery to it.
Sammy shook his head "Thanks for the offer but I think I'm gonna hit the bricks and get home to the ball and chain."
She smiled " I can totally understand. You tell your wife I said hello and sorry that I kept you out late. You let your Momma know I appreciate you helping me out." Sammy gave her one last nod and a smile as he grabbed a handful of mixed nuts from one of the bowls and made his way through the people and out of sight. Amelia looked around the room hoping to catch a glimpse of the birthday boy he was no where to be found. She grabbed up her things intent on getting them safely stowed in Adam's bedroom before properly mingling with the party guests. There were only a handful of people here that she to could call friends, the rest where at best passing acquaintances at worst people she would know by name or face but not both at the same time. This did not bother her in the least for it allowed her to get through the party with little resistance and make her way into Adams apartment and into the bedroom where she dumped her stuff in the closet. She heard laughter coming from the other side of the door and she was sure that somehow Adam was the one who'd enlisted such a boisterous response. Adam was a real social butterfly who made friends with everyone he met. He made everyone feel instantly at ease, a part of the group and as if you'd known each other forever almost instantly. She however was inclined to stick to a small circle of friends who she knew she could count on. Adam for the longest time had tried to change her but he had finally realized that she was perfectly fine handling things the way she wanted to and stopped trying to push his friends on her. Once he let go the idea he could ever change her mind, on anything really and accepted her as she was their friendship solidified. Adam did exactly what he wanted and she did exactly what she wanted and yet when they came together they always had a great time. She trusted him and he was real with her. They finished each others sentences and completed thought processes without words. She had no idea when they had met what an important part of her life he would become, how much he would be there for her even when most people would have cut their ties and walked away. Adam had stayed and they had become even closer. She took his present out of the bag and placed it on his bed. He'd requested no presents but she had gone against his wishes and gotten him one anyway. It was a first edition signed copy of Stephen Kings "IT" the only author ( he to Adam was a GOD among men) she'd ever known that had been able to get Adam to crack a open a book. Something Amelia had found hard to accept in him. She had books like Adam had friends. She ran her hand across the ribbon straightening it out and catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror above the dresser went to straightening herself out. She tugged and pulled her dress back into shape and stuck her hand down the top pulling her girls back into their proper spots. She retrieved her purse and ran her brush through her ponytail, stuck the few stray hairs that had managed to evade the gel in her hair down with a little spit, refreshed her lipstick and ran some powder across her t-zone. The dress was a deep shade of purple, eggplant if you will and the shoes were black with a bright pink skull on the tip of the peep toe and studs in the shape of a Mohawk running down the back. The dress was classic the shoes were dangerous. She grabbed the amethyst and pink tourmaline dangly earrings from their box in her bag and put them on. No way she was wearing them in the subway. She pulled a ring with similar stones on her finger and took a step back. As good as it was going to get she supposed. She stashed her bag back with the rest of her things and after a few twirls of her shoulders to loosen herself up she opened the door. The noise level had gone up another octave since she'd locked herself away it seemed everyone had started to feel the effects of their first round of drinks. People were gathered around in couples and groups eating, talking, laughing and generally having a good time. She finally caught sight of Adam standing with some friends at the far end of the loft a cannoli in on hand a bottle of beer in the other. Lovely combination she thought but turned the look of distaste into a smile when Adams eye caught hers. He excused himself from his conversation and made his way quickly across the room ignoring several people who tried to get his attention. Amelia watched with wonder, Adam was rarely rude and certainly not when he was in host mode. He was wearing loose fitting dark wash jeans and a grey t-shirt an ensemble that was supposed to look casual and thrown on but the cost of which would make most people in this room choke on their cannolis. Adams sandy brown hair was quaffed into what she called hero hair a style that he had adopted on a regular basis after some random girl had stopped him on the street last year asking him if he was the broody hottie good vampire brother from that CW TV show. When the story had been relayed to Amelia that evening in a bar not to far from Saks she had listened but in an effort to control his puffed up ego and to avoid having to hear the story relayed countless times whenever the show was mentioned ( she was a fan of the show herself) she had denied seeing the resemblance. Silently though she couldn't help but notice that the girl had been right Adam had the same chiseled face, toothy smile and already had the guys downtime wardrobe down pack ( his onscreen one to for that matter) and once he'd added the hero hair the comparison was more than justified.
"Amelia, so good of you to finally make it." he put his arm around her shoulder and gave her a big teasing grin. She rolled her eyes and bit back a smart ass retort. She would not engage him in this on going tete a tete in a room full of people at the NYC version of his birthday party. Nope tonight she was not going to get entwined in their usual play by play. He could bait her all he wanted she was not going to take it.
" Happy Almost Birthday Adam." She leaned into him and planted a kiss on his cheek quickly wiping away the mark her lipstick left behind.
" Awww Amelia you should have left it as a kiss from you is worth savoring and telling everyone about." He wiggled his eyebrows at her and then returned the peck. His lips were velvety soft and sent a little shiver through her. She was trying to work out where that feeling had come from when the lips where pressed against her ear. " I have to tell you something."
A shriek of a birthday greeting came from behind them and Adam was attacked from behind by his little sister who wrapped her arm around his neck and swirled herself around him as if he were a stripper pole " Oh my GOD big brother I can't believe you are THIRTY!!!" she had caught the attention of almost everyone in the room and Amelia watched with amusement as a blush creeped up the back of Adam's neck and tinged his cheeks. He looked at her helplessly knowing that he would get no assistance from her. She knew better than to call Brianna out for her larger than life personality. It only made it worse.
" Good to see you Brianna I got your cupcakes they are in a box in Adams room. She'd have never head the end of it it someone else had gotten their hands on them before she had.
" Amelia you are the absolute best!! Thank you so much. You have no idea how much I love those cupcakes." Brianna let go of her brother and grabbed Amelia up in a hug to. She indeed did know how much Brianna loved those cupcakes had been hearing about it in e-mails, Facebook posts, texts and on every single visit since Amelia had introduced her to them two years ago." I know I shouldn't be eating them but every time my mind started thinking of my visit my stomach starts asking for those cupcakes. I've been dreaming about them every since I got on the train to come here." Brianna was 22 a senior in collage and as bubbly as a bottle of just opened champagne. In other words not someone Amelia would normally spend time with. After a few hours with Amelia started to get a sugar high headache. It was all to much but since she was Adam's sister she put in an effort she wouldn't have bothered with if she were anyone else.
" Adam come you have to meet my friends." Brianna pulled at her brothers shirt as he looked down at her helplessly. He'd have to go or she wouldn't leave him be, or would pout and stew which would be worse.
" Please stay here. Don't move." she looked at him like he was nuts. She wasn't going to stand in the middle of the room waiting for him to return. If the girls were hot then it could take forever. Amelia wanted some food and a nice cold alcoholic drink as soon as possible.
" Please Amelia, it's my birthday. Do it for my birthday."
She gave him a what the hell is wrong with you look but nodded her head " Is it alright if I go for some food?"
He looked around the room and once seemingly satisfied his shoulders let go of some of the tension they held. " Yes of course, food. Of course you are hungry. You've been working all day. You rarely eat at work. Of course yes get yourself some food." He ran his hand though his hair and then slapped the sides of his legs with both hands. He looked nervous and if she didn't know any better she'd swear she saw beads of sweat starting to form on his brow. Adam rarely broke a sweat not even when he exercised. Okay now this was just to damned much. She had begun to think it might be best if he stay there with her and explain himself. He was acting to freaking strange. His hand was forced by a childish whine and so he left her standing there wondering and of course stewing. Her mind running through the possibilities for such behavior. Adam was flummoxed. She slowly made her way to the buffet half expecting something to fall from the sky and crush her or an assassination team to come crashing through the windows with her on top of their kill list.
She grabbed a little bit of this and a little bit of that wanting to try everything but not go overboard there would inevitably be a ton left over and she would end up eating this same stuff for days. She bit into the cannoli first, hey nothing wrong with dessert before dinner and was savoring the contrast of the crush of the shell and the creamy goodness of the filling when a voice called to her from behind. Her eyes few open and she sucked in her breath choking of the bite of food she had in her mouth. She sat her plate down on the closest surface and grabbed for her bottle of water. Glad now she had chosen that over the alcohol but knowing after she turned around she was going to need it even more. Something straight up and as strong as humanly possible. She took a few sips and patted herself on the chest before she turned around. Of course she hadn't been wrong his was a voice she would never forget. He was the one love of her life and the only one who had ever been able to break her. He looked amazing of course dressed in black pants and a navy v-neck tee. It was tightly fitted, he'd lost some weight since she'd seen him last. He was tanned and smiling his white teeth gleaming and she notices straightened. She wanted to smack the smile right off of his face. His teeth had been fine the way they were, he'd really become a vain wanker. But she refrained from starting fisticuffs, instead planting on a smile of her own.
" David, I wasn't expecting to see you here." Adam had said he wasn't coming. That he had other obligations and he couldn't get away. She had always thought that was such bullshit. You made time for your friends, if you really still considered them friends and Adam and David had grown up together. They had been the very best of friends. Until of course he had dumped her like a cheap suit for some cheap model slash waitress and had moved out to California to work at one of the big studio law firms. They had met in collage in Florida he'd fled New York to get away from his parents constant gaze and from dreadful New York winters. She had been listlessly working her way towards an English degree. She had no idea what she was going to do with it, she didn't want to teach and while she loved to write she wasn't sure she was good enough to make any money at it. She was there to have a little fun, waltz through her classes and get the diploma that her parents thought was so damned important. At the end of her senior year Daniel had decided he wanted to move back to New York to finish up his law degree and so she had followed him back to New York so he could attend NYU Law. She'd had no real direction and hell she thought he was the one, believed she was one of the lucky few who found the right person so soon. He was smart, ambitious, willing to work hard to get where he wanted to go and of course incredibly handsome. He had ties to the one place in the world she wanted to live and she got the chance to figure out what she wanted in a city where anything was possible. She tried her hand at several different jobs all the while not setting roots down at any one place because David hadn't been sure he wanted to stay in New York after graduation. They'd been together for five years, she'd thought that they were happy. She thought they were on the train towards marriage, children, a house in the suburbs. She could stay home and write, hone her craft and hopefully someday become a successful writer married to a prominent lawyer. But one night a few weeks after he'd passed the bar David had announced he was moving to California. He was moving. Not they were moving. The way he worded the statement caught her breath and she knew it spoke volumes more than she had yet to realize. By the end of the night she had found out the whole of it. Not only was he moving to L.A. but he'd met someone else and she was going with him. He'd been cheating on her for more than six months. She'd thought it was the stress and work of passing his bar exam that had caused him to be distant and short with her. But all those late night study groups had just been a cover for him to make time with the other woman. Two days later all of his stuff was gone and she was left broken, mind cloudy completely bewildered by what had just happened to her. She'd been crying for twenty four hours straight lying in her dark half empty apartment when at midnight on her third day as a dumpee there was a knock on the door. Annoyed that either someone had the wrong apartment or was let in by ringing someone else's buzzer and in absolutely NO mood to see anyone she had ignored the first knock. When they kept coming she had bounded off the couch and stomped to the door. Looking through the peephole she couldn't believe who was standing there. She opened the door took one look at his face and collapsed into sobs. She hadn't expected to see Adam again. Even though they had been friendly for as long as she had been with David she had figured that their connection would be severed when David was no longer in the picture. He had grabbed her up and held her close and let her cry her eyes out not saying anything. He never said anything. He didn't offer answers, or his advice or tell her that everything was going to be okay. He didn't try to make excuses or offer explanations he was just there. He made sure she ate, that she had tissues that she was warm under her blanket. He just sat by and let he be. She had been suspicious at first not sure if she could or should trust him but in the entire time she was trying to dig herself out of the giant hole that had sunk around her when David had left he had given her no reason not to. She had never gotten the impression that David was all that happy about the fact they had stayed friends but if anything concrete had ever been laid out about it between the two of them Adam had never spoken of it. But if you were on the outside looking in at the situation you'd have to think that Adam had chosen her. Perhaps is was purely geography that would lead you to that conclusion, friendships are hard to maintain from across the country and easy when you live but a few blocks from one another. But Amelia couldn't help it, she got a little smug satisfaction in knowing that Adam had stood beside her.
" Your look good Amelia." The smile remained but fell a little bit when she clearly had no intention of reciprocating the compliment. She couldn't help but feel it was a bit backhanded considering she was still fighting back a cough and had to brush crumbs off the front of her dress.
" Adam says things are going well at Saks, seems you've adopted a persona to fit the job." he gave her the once over and she could practically hear the voices in his head " If only she had looked like this when we were together" Ugh she thought there had been a time when she longed for him to look at her like that. Her heart would skip a beat when she caught him looking at her and she would melt into his gaze. But now she was disgusted by it and wished more than anything she could remove herself from this moment. But any reaction would be an indication that she was still stuck on him. Adam had been forced to admit that David was under that delusion after she had overheard part of a conversation the two had had the last time he had come to visit. She hadn't dated anyone seriously since David, had settled for a job in retail both of which were fallout for his dumping her and her inability to get over him. At least that was David's estimation of the situation. It was true that she hadn't wanted to be bothered with another relationship, the last one had ended so badly and for a while it had been all about the hurt and betrayal. But now it was honestly about her enjoying being on her own and her desire not to make the same mistakes and to wait for the right person to come along.
" Yes things are well." She left her answer at that.
" How is Lizzy?" he had gotten her the cat, the one thing left from their time together. The one thing she hadn't tossed, ripped to shreds or burned in an old oil drum behind her building. No Lizzy was the one keeper of their relationship.
" She is great,finally out grown her adolescent craziness. She is quite content."
" There you are David, I've been looking everywhere for you." and just like that the one thing that could make this night even worse sashayed her way into her eyesight. She referred to her as the " Hooch that shall not be named" and Adam still did not say her name aloud in her presence. She had to live with the fact that David was still his friend but she'd be damned if she would have to discuss the woman she was left for. But her she was, still blond though not as brightly so, still rail thin except for the slightly noticeable bump showing through the fabric of her orange chiffon maxi dress. Amelia's first thought was I have that same dress in my closet and it looks better on me. Her second thought was the hooch was going to be a mother.. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!! She sent a silent curse out to the universe. This would certainly have to be the last shitastic thing to happen to her today right?
" Well it seems congratulations are in order." She planted her best "You are a pain in the ass customer but I want to keep my job so I am going to kill you with kindness" smile on her face and flashed it at both of them.
David's baby Mama gave her the typical I am a model and better than you once over and curled her arm through Davids and pulled him a few inches towards her. " Yes we are very excited. Everyone in the family is thrilled" she leaned her head against David's shoulder.
Don't worry lady I don't want him. She smirked inwardly but kept the smile on her face. " I am sure David's parents are very happy, I know grandchildren are something they have longed for quite some time." She knew because she had been bothered incessantly by David's Mother the majority of their relationship. She was sure she was over the moon, though she doubted David's choice for procreation was a top choice.
David's eyes which had not left her once lifted and focused on someone behind them.
" Hey David, Samantha you two having a good time?" he didn't wait for anything more than nods before looking down at her
" Sorry Amelia it took me forever to get away" Adam put a protective hand on her shoulder and grabbed the other one behind her back giving it a squeeze. This had been what he'd wanted to tell her and she understood know why he'd been acting strange. He was probably afraid she'd flip out in front of everyone and he had his reasons to believe it. But Amelia was beyond that now. She couldn't lie and say she didn't care anymore that him being there didn't sting, that the fact he was having a baby with the woman he cheated on her with didn't wrench her heart but she was past the point where she'd be willing to give them any control over her by making a scene. They had ceased being worth that. If Adam had been able to tell her it might have lessened the shock but she'd still have been stuck in a room with them all night and she would have to had to deal with that either way.
" No problem Adam you have a floor full of guests vying for your attention." she looked back at him grateful that he was there to lead the conversation or better yet lead her away. Which is exactly what he did.
" Speaking of which I kind of need to borrow you for a second. Hope you two don't mind if I steal her away. You've got tons of people here who you got to tell your good news to." He gave them both a wink and started to pull her away.
" Hope you both enjoy the party." She gave them one last smile and then let Adam take her by the hand and lead her out of the room.
He pushed her through the party goers until she found herself back behind the door of his bedroom. He stayed by the door while she walked over to the bed and slowly sat down on it. She closed her eyes and pushed the air out of her body. She'd been holding her breath since Adam had lead her away fearing that if she dared to breath it would come out as a sob and once the sob escaped so would the tears. But now sitting her breathing in and out there was no sobs. No tears.
" I'm sorry Amelia, I was trying to tell you. He just showed up. I had no idea he was coming." She knew he was telling the truth, he'd been quietly upset that his friend wasn't going to show. He'd have never kept his coming from her. The pregnancy though was another story.
" Why didn't you tell me she was having his kid?' She looked up at him. His face collapsed into an apology. She put her hand up " No wait, don't. It really isn't any of my business. I made you promise a long time ago not to talk to me about him and his life with her. Why would you break that promise?"
" I should have. I knew you would find out eventually but since he said he wasn't coming I figured I had a little time to tell you. I know it had to come as a shock." He sat down beside her resting his hand next to hers he twisted his pinkie around hers.
" Is it bad that I think he planned this? Telling you he wasn't coming just so he could arrive and get a rise out of me." she knew it was paranoid but she didn't care. Something about the way he looked at her now, she couldn't help but think he was trying to fuck with her. Like he got some sick amusement from the idea that he could still hurt her. She'd never have thought him capable but it was clear that he had changed quite a bit and was not the man she had met. He'd become his Father, who she had never liked. Who was clearly a dick. She was sure he was quite proud.
" Come on now Amelia, why would he do that? He has been working sixteen hour days and thought there was no way he could make it out. When my Mother called him last week to see if there was any chance his plans had changed and if he couldn't make it for the party here could he come up for the weekend they had planned. He didn't become free until yesterday. This was all a last minute thing. He didn't have time to be premeditated. Especially when it comes to doing something to hurt you. You can't think he came here just to reopen old wounds. I know you hate him but he isn't like that Amelia."
She turned to him, yeah maybe she going overboard. Disdain had a way of making you do that. " I know it's stupid. Irrational. Paranoid and delusional. Seeing him though hit me in the gut and then she came walking up all smug, possessive and pregnant. I can't help that seeing them together makes my heart stop or makes my blood boil. To see that they are happy enough and committed enough to have a child. He never even wanted to discuss it when we were together. He wanted to be established and have a solid foundation under his feet,find some time to travel and just be a comfortable twosome before even considering having children"
" And you don't think he could be at that place now? He has been in LA for more than two years, owns a house, is on the fast track for partner at his firm. He and Sam spent a month earlier this year traveling through Europe. They didn't plan this pregnancy but that doesn't mean he isn't exactly where he wanted to be when kids came along." she hated he was defending him. She was sure he hated having to. It was not a good thing when the two of them had to touch on this topic. It opened old wounds for her and put him firmly in the middle. She wanted to not be doing this right now.
" Or maybe he just never planned on having them with me." she sighed and turned her attention to the other side of the room. She could feel his eyes on her. The speech forming in the back of his throat. He, she figured could feel the self pity and doubt rising up through her pores. She'd blamed herself for everything for the longest time. That her deficiencies were what had driven him away and sent him across the country in the arms of another woman. She hated that that part of her was still skulking about deep within her. She knew it wasn't all her fault. The cheating sure as hell wasn't. She had always told him that if he'd ever found himself having feelings for someone else he should end it. She didn't want to live a lie. She supposed that was what burned her the most not that he had fallen out of love with her, not that he had ended it but that he hadn't cared enough about her, about their time together to end it before he started sleeping with someone else. She'd have forgiven him if he'd done that. She would never be able to do that now. It was just not a kind of forgiveness she possessed.
" Amelia don't do it. Don't fall in to that hole. There is no point. It's over. Done. History. You have to move on."
Her head snapped back toward him. " What do you mean? I have moved on. The only time I feel any of this shit now is when he shows up here and I am forced to deal with seeing him face to face. You know I never really got to do that since he jetted his ass out of town a week after he dumped me." Adam stood knowing he needed to put a bit of distance between them when her voice got shrill the way it currently was, he wouldn't want to risk getting decked. What he said next insured the move had been a wise one.
" If you'd moved on Amelia you wouldn't feel like this every time you saw him. You wouldn't end up all depressed sitting in your pajama's listening to Sara Bareilles Cd's and watching movie adaptations of Jane Austen novels over and over again. You wouldn't fall silent and moody when his name was mentioned in our circle of friends. You wouldn't tell me that I absolutely couldn't talk to you about him even though you know that it is hard for me to constantly edit myself. If you had moved on Amelia you would've at least attempted to let someone else into your life." Yes, there it was the speech the last part though was new. She hadn't hear that part before and that was probably why it angered her.
" So what you saying is that because I haven't found someone else, that because I have spent the last two years getting my own shit together, focusing on my job and getting a foothold in the city, building friendships, that I haven't moved on from my relationship with David? Really? What would it take for that to have happened? What would I have had to have done to prove to you or anyone else that I'd moved forward? Fall head over heels and hopelessly into another relationship? Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I was okay with being single. That the few dates that I went on with the few guys that actually asked me out just weren't right for me. That there has been absolutely no takers worth pursuing anything with? I had never been serious with anyone before David. I had been quite content on my own. I thought I'd found someone who was worth changing things for and so I did. Maybe I just haven't' found anyone worth doing that again. Maybe I am just waiting to find the right someone."
" Someone exactly like him?" the look on his face was unreadable the words came out in a rush partially unintelligible. It was quite possible she hadn't heard right.
" What?"
" Are you waiting for someone like him Amelia? You never let yourself love before him so I can't help but think your waiting for someone else like him to come along. What are you going to do if that doesn't happen?" There was no doubt about the look on his face now. He looked sad.
She started to speak but stopped to watch him, he was leaning against the door, his arms across his chest his right foot bouncing up and down on the hardwood floor. He looked like this when he had something he'd been holding inside him for to long. Something that needed to be said but he hadn't worked up the nerve to say it. He could be incredibly forward but when it came to sticky stuff, conversations he was not quite sure of the outcome of he would clam up and lock it away until it was about to burst out of him. It often made whatever he needed to get off his chest far worse than it would be if he just came out with it. She'd seen this look a few times, usually in conduction with woman he was involved with. Like when he was ready to dump them but he didn't know how to do it.. When it came to conflicts such as those Adam became a pussy. She just couldn't imagine what it was that was causing him to be like this with her. What could he have possibly been holding back all this time in relation to this subject. She'd hated to hazard a guess considering the knock out drag out conversations they have had over the last two years. No this couldn't be about her relationship with David it had to be something more personal. Something between the two of them.
He moved cautiously toward her coming to rest once again next to her on the bed. Their eyes locked and she waited for him to speak. " Are you ever going to be ready Amelia? Do you think that he took away your ability to love? I know he meant the world to you but he isn't the only man out there. Do you really want to spend your life alone? Do you really think there is no one else out there that will fit next to you? What are you waiting for?
She hadn't thought she'd been waiting for anything. She'd just been trying to keep moving, get her life back. She hadn't given much thought to the idea of another relationship. She knew many would find that hard to believe a 30 year old woman with no desire to settle down and commit, get married and have children but those thoughts had left her when David did. She guess she'd locked away that part of her in order to maintain her sanity. Not that she'd believed her life hadn't been fulfilling. She was in a much better place within herself now.
" When I met David I hadn't been looking, I was concentrating on school. I was single focused and then he came along and before I knew it I saw other things around me. My focal point became wider, I let him in and adjusted my life to fit my desire to have him with me. I came here because he wanted to and I wanted to be with him. When he left I didn't know what to do with myself I was so desperate and alone. I closed up and found one thing to focus on. Me. Getting back to me. It's not that I think I am incapable of finding love again. I guess I just expect it to find me like it did the last time."
" And what if it has?" he took her hand turned it over and sat it into his tracing the lines of her palm with his fingers. His touch was always gentle but now there was something else running through it. Something she hadn't felt coming from him before. Electricity.
She resisted the urge to pull her hand back, the feel may be foreign but that didn't mean it was unwelcome. It was however completely unexpected. She kept her eyes focused on him and when he looked up at her she saw something else that she hadn't seen before reflected in his eyes. Longing. She let out a little gasp and Adam smiled which sucked the air back into her lungs and stopped her heart. His smile came closer and his eyes stayed with hers and she saw other things run though them and each new emotion she saw made her see things in a new light. The blinders she'd put on swayed in the wave of the emotions in the room and when Adam's lips was just inches from hers she found herself moving forward to meet them.
A knock on the door caused them both to jump backward and Amelia had been close enough to the edge to start to fall off, Adam's hand grasped her arm and pulled her back up. She bumped into his side and was shaking off the surprise when the door opened and David's head peaked through. He took one look at the two of them sitting there and the expression on his face went from playful to miffed. He'd thought Adam was in here with a girl but he hadn't expected it to be her. He did his best to recover " Hey there you are been looking all over for you, the troops are getting antsy. You might want to get back on out here and cut the cake or something."
" Yeah of course where are my manners. Got a house full of guests. " his voice was a half octave away from a yell and he was clearly flummoxed. Adam ran his hands through his hair " Amelia was just giving me my present." somehow he'd been able to grab it from behind them and pulled it out from behind his back.
" I thought you said no presents?" David leaned against the door frame his eyes more on her than on Adam. I don't think the present was in that box he seemed to be saying. She just smiled slightly.
" You know I never listen when someone says that. Birthdays are for presents." She took it gently from Adam's hand " You don't have to open it now though, It's probably best you get back to your party. Don't want to be accused of being a bad birthday host" She stood and Adam followed suit but she let him take the lead towards the door. She hoped David would go out first so she wouldn't have to squeeze past him.
" Yes you wouldn't want anyone to be reduced to handing out birthday spankings would you Adam?" David was positively leering now and Adam tripped on his bedroom rug. He stopped in front of David giving him a pointed look and then pushed him out the door. He turned back as she entered the doorway which caused her to take a step back.
" Just so we are clear Amelia, this conversation is not over." He put his hand on her arm and gave it a squeeze as they made their way back to the party. She stood next to him after the candles were lit and the birthday song was sung and she passed around piece of cakes to all the eager guests with a smile on her face but if they had looked close enough they would have seen her eyes were slightly glazed over and she was only going through the motions. She was still in that bedroom going over and over what had happened and what it all meant. The most important question for her wasn't whether it was possible, though that was a good one no it was Why Now? They had known each other for years, he'd never made any sort of move on her, or had he? She racked her brain in the corner of the big loft where she'd found a few quiet moments to think without any other distractions. He had always been the touchy feely type a trait that at first had creeped her out, she hated strangers touching her, but eventually the hello kisses and the it's been a while hugs became a regular part of their relationship. But he did that with everyone, she'd never noticed the way he touched her in those moments was any different than the way he touched others. On the New Years Eve, marking the end of the year David had dumped her Adam had gotten very very drunk and had planted one on her when the clock struck twelve. She's been pretty drunk herself and had kissed him back but by the next time she saw him again the moment had been forgotten, or at least pocketed. Isn't there a rule that says you only get so long for a friendship to become something more before you are always going to be just friends? The statue of limitations on the possibility of them being anything more had to expired by now right? She was roused back to the room by the squeals of laughter, Adam's sister was making sure she was the center of attention. Amelia stood, flexed her sleeping left foot back and forth and once she had enough feeling in it she moved away from the annoyance that was Brianna and made her way back into Adam's place. The clock on the microwave in the kitchen said it was after one. She was exhausted and now she knew why. She stifled a yawn into her hand but decided that it was time for her to take her leave. The party was sure to go on without her but unlike Adam she had to get some sleep if she was going to function later that day, they were leaving bright and early to head out to the Hamptons for his parents weekend of birthday celebrations. She was going to be a basket case now as it was, she needed to get home now and get a few hours of sleep. She went into the thankfully empty bedroom and retrieved her things. She wasn't going to try and find Adam, he'd only try to coherence her into staying and she didn't want to risk any more of what had happened in the bedroom on this night. To many eyes and to many wagging tongues were around. She slipped down the stairs and took one flight down catching the elevator there and made her way quickly from the building. There were several party goers hanging around in various spots as she made her exit but none of them paid her any attention. She was glad that none of them were people she was well acquainted with, she didn't want them keeping her from her bed either. She walked the three blocks to her place leisurely, it was a lovely night the crispness of spring still hung in the air at night though soon it would be hotter than hades. New York in the summer was not her favorite thing in the world. Having grown up in Florida you'd have thought it would be paradise but the subways in New York in August were far worse than the sticky heat of a Florida. Try traipsing through them in designer outfits and trying to not look like a drowned sewer rat by the time you got to Saks was a miracle. She should be canonized just for that feat. She had a special cab fund she saved for all year just to use when the days when her appointment book was full, she couldn't risk giving the other svelter scorpion women on her floor any other legs up. When she turned onto the walkway of her building Mr. Jacobs her neighbor from across the hall was coming out with his dog, sleepy eyed and shirt miss buttoned he looked like he had clearly been done for the night. Walter his dog apparently begged to differ.
" Good Morning Mr. Jacobs." The man was in his late sixties, lived alone after the death of his wife the year before, cancer had taken her quickly, he had four kids and six grand kids who were always coming and going to visit him but Amelia believed his greatest comfort and joy was Walter. He had been his wife's greatest love and now the reminder of how much he'd meant to her had made him Mr. Jacob's greatest love to.
" Oh Amelia, you just coming in?" He looked around him and a look of protectiveness crossed his face. " and you are walking out here alone? You know I don't like that sort of thing and I have told you to call me and I would meet you at the station. This neighborhood isn't what it used to be you know." He was a sweet man, as close to a Father figure as she currently knew and he did worry about her.
" I didn't come from the station Mr Jacobs just from Adam's, he was having his birthday party."
Oh I see, why didn't he escort you home then?" Gentlemen made sure their lady friends arrived home safely
" Well he had a house full of guests and it's not that far. Besides if I'd told him I was leaving he'd have never let me leave and I am in desperate need of some sleep." She nodded toward Walter who was running " I need to go" circles around his human. " I am sure you can relate?"
Mr. Jacobs smiled at her and nodded his head, " Yes you got me there. Gonna go let the pup poop so he will let me catch some zzz's. You be careful out here and the next time I see Adam I am still gonna tell him about himself. You shouldn't let your girl walk home alone in the middle of the night. There isn't any excuses for that!" She started to correct him, about the 'his girl' part but Mr. Jacobs was pulled away by Walter to quickly. The boy had to GO!
She let herself in the building and made her way through the lobby to the elevator. She contemplated taking the stairs for a minute but her body quickly rejected that idea and breathed a sigh of relief when the elevator doors opened it practically moved itself through them without any help from her brain. She was quickly finding herself on auto pilot. She couldn't wait to hit the sheets but as she went up the six floors and her mind floated back to Adam and the almost kiss. What would she have done if his lips had actually met hers? A little shudder ran through her and her eyes closed. It had been a long time since she'd been kissed. Properly passionately kissed. Adam had nice full lips, especially his bottom one which was all pouty and plump even when he wasn't playing the " sad little boy card". She'd heard often enough that he was a good kisser, mostly by him of course but the few girls he'd dated that she'd let herself become friendly with had confirmed his boasts. She couldn't really judge the one kiss she had experienced herself, she'd been far to drunk and shocked she'd never be able to give it a proper critique. She had wondered a time or two when she was feeling particularly lonely or they had been spending a lot of time together what it would be like to do it again. To know for sure and be able to hold onto the memory of it. " Oh hell' she whispered into the empty car. She found that she wanted to know the feel of his lips on hers and for the second time that night she was asking herself the question " Why now?"
A black and orange furry blur flew up to her as she opened the door but Lizzy knew that her feet was as far as she could go and she sat there and gazed up at her and waited for her to greet him. " Hello pretty little Lizzy Lou!" She shut the door and locked it tight then gobbled up her sweet girl who snuggled into her willingly giving her kisses and face nudges a plenty. " Meeeeeeow" she said as she buried her head into her neck and went limp in her arms. Lizzy was happy she was home. She felt guilty she'd been away so long and knowing that she would be leaving her again in a few hours for the entire weekend didn't make it any easier. Luckily the other main human in Lizzy's life would be looking after her while she was away, Megan her friend and neighbor would be taking care of Lizzy and would bring along her cat Paulie who was Lizzy' s sweetie. Lizzy didn't mind so much when Momma went away and Paulie came to play. Yeah she might be sad to see her go in the morning but she'd be happy when that grey green eyed boy came through the door later in the day. " Your gonna see your boyfriend Paulie this weekend lill miss are you excited?" Lizzy's green eyes got wide like she knew exactly what she was saying and she jumped out of her arms and gave a little dance about her feet. " Yeah I'd say you are."
Amelia made her way into the kitchen and Lizzy following wanting to make sure her bowls were filled and once they were she turned back to give her Mom a look as she walked out of the kitchen but she stayed put and had herself a late night snack. Amelia undressed quickly hanging the dress on the back of the door and then put away her other clothes and the shoes, no matter how tired she was she couldn't leave things a mess. she'd have no time to clean it up in the morning and the idea that it was lying about would haunt her the entire weekend. She shut the closet door firmly, no Lizzy's were allowed near the clothes, it was bad enough she wore pieces of her wherever she went but she'd be darn if she would get the opportunity to ruin any of her could never be replaced, spent months coveting, stalking and price checking wardrobe. She meticulously removed her make up and brushed her teeth and after running a brush through her hair she took one last look in the mirror and then turned off the light. Lizzy was waiting for her on the bed and of course she made it difficult to turn the bed down sitting right in the middle of the comforter but she did what she did every night gave it a little bounce and she went flipping over to the edge of the bed and then began to fight with the covers that half covered her. That never got old she thought with a giggle and then sighed as she slid into the bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. She was so desperately tired, her mind shut down almost immediately and she was gone before Lizzy had the chance to snuggle in to her right side as he always did.
She was brought out of the fog by the sound of someone knocking on her door, banging on her door was more like it and she bolted up and looked around her. Was the building on fire?? She sniffed the air and cleared her mind enough to remember where Lizzy's carrier was. No she didn't smell any smoke but the banging started again and if it wasn't a fire then whoever it was was surely going to wake the entire building. The clock next to her said it was just after four. She grabbed her robe from the back of the bedroom door she needed more cover than the cami and underwear she had on and sprinted to the door. Lizzy apparently had heard the knocking far sooner than she and he was stationed in front of the door his head cocked looking as if he thought whoever was on the other side was either a killer or crazy. She couldn't help but think the same thing as she looked through the peep hole. She jumped back when she saw that it was Adam. A killer no, crazy completely. Her heart skipped a beat and she turned her back to the door and leaned against it. What the hell was he doing here? She sure as hell hoped he wasn't coming for a bootie call because no matter what he thought had transpired between the two of them earlier they were NOT at that place, not by a long shot. She took another peek at him and he was staring right into the hole on the other side.
" Let me in Amelia, I heard the creek of the floorboard when you walked up to the door." She reached for the deadbolt and found that it was already unlocked. Adam had a key but he couldn't get through the two chains and the hotel lock she also had on the door. She never forgot to put them on when she came home and right now she was especially glad for that bit of paranoia. Would he have just let himself in and come into her bedroom and… What??.. She took a deep breath steeled her shoulders and then opened the door. Adam was leaning against his arm, which was leaning against the door frame. It was about all that was keeping him standing. After she had left Adam had hit the hard stuff, he was three sheets to the wind. From the smell of him she would take bets it was tequila. Tequila and Adam were not a good combination. She would also take bets that David was the one who supplied it. It was David's drink of choice and he got a kick out of what it did to Adam. Loose lips and sinking ships. Adam had killed more than his fair share of rooms over the years while being blotto on tequila.
"You gonna let me in?" He tried to move forward but instead started to fall and she grabbed him to keep him from collapsing in her doorway. Her robe came open and exposed more skin that she intended and of course he head landed right on her right beast.
" Ummm soft" he murmured into her skin a silly smile filled his face. Ummm no she thought and pushed him off of her.
" Adam you are drunk off your ass and it is four in the morning, what the hell are you doing here?" she felt eyes on her and while no one came out of their doors she knew at least one of her neighbors was now watching them through their peep hole. Not wanting any more of a scene she pulled her drunken friend inside and closed the door quietly. Adam found himself a wall and rattled the print that hung on it an inch from coming off it's nail and crashing to the floor. You break it you replace it she thought but didn't say anything. She just stood there and waited for him to gain enough composure to look at her. Didn't there come a time when a man was to damned old to get butt ass fucking drunk?
He found her face and with glossed over eyes he slurred his reasons for being there. " I told you our conversation wasn't finished and you just took off. " His arm took a swing and made contact with the wall, she could hear the bones in his hands crack and feel the pain run up his arm. " Fucking shit." he muttered and grabbed his hand and slid down to the floor. This time the print did come off and she was able to grab it just before it slid down to meet his head before it hit the floor to. This move caused her to straddle him and expose her bottom half to his current eye level.
" Nice panties" he moved his head forward which caused her to curve her self backward. " Very nice " She was mortified even though they were indeed nice, grannies but a cute pattern that matched the top she was wearing but when he reached out and grabbed the back right corner, touching bare ass cheek in the process she jumped back and almost fell over a very confused Lizzy.
" Jesus Christ Adam!" she lifted her leg and did a pirouette over Lizzy's head, fumbled with the print in her hand but reclaimed it just before it hit the ground. She was able to place it on the wall opposite her before she came crashing down. Lizzy went running back in the direction of the bedroom and Adam scrambled over to her muttering apologies and checking to see if she broke anything. If he weren't so drunk she'd have known it was all a ploy to touch her and touch her he did, just about everywhere his hands could fumble across. She felt herself relax, her fatigue and the natural reaction a woman has to a hot guy touching her took over for a second but she came back to, when his hand started to slip under her shirt. Her head snapped up and she found he was looking at her, his eyes finding momentary clarity. She was sure that that last move was not made in the name of checking on her personal well being. She shook her head and pushed the fabric back down and he stopped but his hand stayed put.
" Haven't you ever thought of me Amelia? In all this time we have known each other, in the last two years when we have been inseparable? Haven't you given me, the idea of me and you like this a moments thought?"
Yes she had and after tonight she was sure to continue to. It would probably drive her mad trying to figure out when the situation she was currently in had become a possibility. She was feeling pretty stupid at the moment, she hadn't seen this coming. Not a single clue. She'd been reading people for years but if someone had told her Adam would suddenly be looking at her like he wanted to fuck her brains out she'd have told them they were nuts. Adam was her best friend, her confidant but her lover, her boyfriend, the man of her dreams? Well maybe it was more likely for everyone to see him being those things to her, but her to him? Now that was much more of a stretch.
" Adam what brought all this on? Why are you doing this now?"
" What's wrong with now Amelia? It is where we are at, what we are living right? The here and now? So why not now? I think I have waisted to many yesterdays don't you think?" He was leaning against her legs which were bent at the knee and turned so he couldn't have a clear view of her neither regions. In the back of her head she thanked God she had shaved that morning. He moved forward and put his arms on either side of her torso closing her in. " I know I am drunk off my ass and all of this may seem less like a real meaningful moment and more like me looking for the closest woman to bed but I assure you that it is much more the former than the latter. When I am sober I will be able to articulate what all of this means to you far better I promise, but for now I want you to let me kiss you. Just one kiss and I will go. Can you give me that Amelia, may I kiss you?"
She swallowed hard and struggled to catch her breath, the air around her was stifling and she couldn't find her voice, she did find that she could make her neck muscles move and so she nodded and then became perfectly still as he came closer and closer and finally put his lips to hers. The kiss was hot, sweet and tinged with the taste of salt he made no move to grab hold of her or to continue once the kiss came to an end. He just stopped pulled back and pursed his lips together.
" You taste good Amelia." he smiled at her then, that cocky smile that he gave to girls he was trying to get into bed and so she couldn't help but smile back and roll her eyes at the same time. He was such a charming tease. She had never wondered why women fell for Adam, his attributes were crystal clear and numerous. She just never thought he'd aim any of them at her. She was queasy, scared and excited. Very very excited. She gave her legs another squeeze and the movement broke the spell. Adam gave her legs a glance and then he cocked his eyebrows and chuckled. He could have said something lude she knew he was capable of it but he either couldn't form the words in his hazy mind or he decided to control himself for once.
" I will keep my promise, I promise." He found his footing and stood. Not shaky at all she noticed. He held his hand out and she took it letting him pull her up. She conceitedly thought to herself that their kiss had instantaneously sobered him up. " I apologize for coming here this way, I had one to many shots and lost my mind for a second. That kiss brought me back to my senses." He ran the tip of his tongue across his bottom lip something he knew would drive her a bit batty. " Like I said before this conversation is not over, we will be pursuing this. So don't go diving down the rabbit hole to get away from me." she looked away having felt the discomfort returning. " Amelia look at me."
She did as he asked. " Don't be afraid of me Amelia, I am still your best friend. I am still Adam. I just want something more and you are capable of giving me everything I want. I have no doubt of that." he pulled her to him wrapping his arms around her and holding her in a more familiar way. This she was used to, the comfort of his arms holding her when she was sad or frightened. This she knew but even so it now held something else entwined in it. Something more. She wasn't quite sure what Adam wanted but it would have to be something more than a four am bootie call. He'd never risk seven years of friendship for sex. Well not meaningless sex, it was clear to her as he held her that he was thinking of her sexually but there was more to it. Much more and she wasn't nearly as confident that she was going to be able to take the steps to give Adam what he needed. She pulled away and took a few steps backward, she didn't look down at her feet like she wanted to but looked him in the eye as he would want her to.
" Goodnight Amelia, I'll be here to get you at nine, you will be ready?"
" Yes I will be ready, but with lack of sleep I'll probably look like shit." She attempted a laugh but it got caught in her throat with what he said next.
" That is completely impossible, you always look amazing to me." He touched her cheek and another chunk of that iceberg inside her fell off and started to melt. She was a flood of emotion, desire, fear and anticipation. What a difference a few hours could make.
He opened the door and walked through it she followed and watched him walk to the elevator. " Goodnight Adam." He gave her one last smile and then disappeared from view. She closed the door and redid all the locks and trudging her way back to her bed she once again found herself slipping beneath the covers. She didn't fall asleep right away this time though, Lizzy had plenty of time to get into position before her eyes started to fall. She placed her fingers to her lips and took a deep breath through them, she closed her eyes and let the memory of their kiss play on the back of her eyelids. It was the last thing she remembered.
The next morning she walked out of her building, a carry-on in one hand sunglasses in the other and found Adam waiting remarkably clear eyed and bushy tailed in her front walk way.
" Morning Amelia" his face twisted into a toothy smile. She'd decided before going downstairs to take her cues from him, if he was light and easy, she would be bright and breezy. No need weight things down, this weekend was supposed to be fun and she didn't want her internal upheaval to ruin Adam's birthday weekend. She just hoped her bright and breezy didn't give him the idea he had an open invitation. Her heart wasn't quite ready to let itself go that far, that quick. Her mind had questions that needed to be answered first to.
" Good Morning Adam, how's your hand?"
" Hurts like a Mother Fucker but still it's not as bad as my head." He pulled the sunglasses off his forehead and onto his face. " Can't take it any more"
She stifled a laugh and shook her head. " You never learn about the tequila do you?"
" Nope, not yet at least. Listen I met you here cause I wanted to tell you something and I have to make it quick and hope you don't freak out cause we are kind of double parked."
" David and Sam are in the bus." She had thought of that this morning as well. It was only logical they would be on the mini jitney they his parents had hired to take them out to the Hamptons. She hated the thought of being trapped in a small place with the two of them but she was hoping she at least pretend to be asleep most of the way and be left the hell alone.
" Yeah, they are." He looked apologetic but there wasn't any way they weren't going with them and not being on that bus. He wasn't going to put himself in that place, it would taint the weekend and his Mother had invited David and expected them to be there. She wasn't going to cause a lick of trouble where they were concerned, she was however going to do her best to avoid contact with them, it would be hard now but once they got into that big house in Hampton's and the party started she could meld into the wood work and keep them at bay like the plague.
" Well lets get going before a cop comes and keeps us for another hour writing a simple ass ticket" she handed him her case and he took it and the walked out side by side to the awaiting jitney.
" Good morning everyone" she called out as she boarded. She got a few half hearted responses but mostly everyone was half dead in their seats and the only one who made eye contact with her was David who gave her the once over and then grinned as Adam came up behind her and put his hand on her back, pushing her towards the back of the bus.
" We get the prim time seats" and she let him push her forward but she didn't catch David's gaze again. She'd been afraid of the ride but once she settled in she realized that everyone was to hung over to really converse with one another, even Adam seemed to deflate and there didn't seem much of a chance he'd engage her in any " what was going on with them conversation" in such small quarters.
" Shhhhh be vewy vewy quiet everyone's hungover buhuhuhuhuhuhuh" Adam did his best Elmer Fudd which sent her into a fit of giggles which got them both more than a few hateful stares.
" They all hate you because you got out before the real liquor started to flow. They probably think your a goodie goodie with dewy white skin, clear green eyes and a fogless head space. You realize you are going to have to drink heavily at some point this weekend and possibly get naked on a table top for people to accept you as one of us again right?" He was leaning into her seat, whispering in her ear but she could still hear the laughter in his voice.
" You do know that is never going to happen." she replied
" The drunkenness or the nakedness?" he grinned at her teasingly. " If you are only willing to do one as the birthday boy can I pick the one I would like most?" She was used to this type of flirting. Had it always had more meaning than she had realized? The way he was looking at her now held much more than it ever had before, so if there had been more to it he'd been holding back until now.
" I doubt you will get either this weekend but if I change my mind I will probably be drunk already so there will only be one option for you to choose from. That will make the decision much easier for you I am sure." She could flirt back, it is what she would have said in the past.
" Ahh thanks Amelia, you know how I love when you simplify things for me." he gave her a nudge on the shoulder with his fist and then slid back into his seat. " You mind, I'm gonna pass out for a while." She didn't mind at all it meant she didn't have to keep up the witty banter and try to keep her hands and feet from shaking, anxiety was flowing through her like rapids.
" You go on and get some sleep, you look like shit and your Momma's gonna take one look at you and give you the dangers of habitual drinking speech." He smiled, shook his head at her and then closed his eyes. He was snoring quietly within minutes. After a while his head fell onto her shoulder and she couldn't help but to rest her chin on his forehead and look out the window. She felt someone turn around in their seat and look into her direction she had a feeling of who it was but she didn't give him the satisfaction of looking his way. Instead she continued to stare out the window and watched the scenery fly by. She found that she was content within the silence, her overactive brain didn't run her ragged. Her breathing slowed and fell in time with Adam's and soon she was asleep as well.
She awoke to find she and Adam had traded places, she was now on his shoulder her hand resting on his chest. They had arrived and people were slowly waking up, stretching out and getting their stuff together. Outside the doors of the house opened and Adam's parents walked out to the drive.
" Ahhh look how cute everybody. Adam and Amelia are spooning." David's voice rang out and everyone turned to look at them. She started to pull away the glare of attention and anger at David turning her bright red. She would bet he'd been waiting most of the journey to do that and had just been waiting for the moment when everyone was awake to listen. Adam's arm came around her and pulled her back in.
" You jealous there captain?" He gave David the steeliest look I'd ever seen him give anyone, his jaw clinched and eyes got wide. He was challenging David to say something else, most of which if he chose to would not be favorable to her and several retorts played through her head all of which were likely to embarrass her further and possibly send her into a fit of tears, once she was alone again anyway.
Amelia caught sight of Samantha then, she was livid and she gave David one tug on his arm and anything he had wanted to say died in his throat. He looked from Adam, to her and then his wife. He nodded and something she said to him and then gathered their things. When Samantha stood she turned and gave Amelia a look that was a mix of embarrassment and jealousy. David's calling them out like that had called attention to more things than he intended.
" Sorry Amelia, he can be such an ass sometimes." Amelia smiled softly at Adam and with a slight nod of her head let it go. She stood and walked down the aisle and off the bus. Adam's mother Teresa was waiting for her at the bottom step.
" Ammmmelia honey it is soooo good to seeeeee yoooou agggggain" Every word was over exaggerated but she meant them. Mr. and Mrs. Pierceson had always been good to her. They treated her like family.
"Hello Teresa it is good to see you to, it's been to long." She encased the woman in a genuine hug and tried to not feel discarded when she broke free to grab her son in an embrace.
Her face must have betrayed her for Adam's father chuckled and said " Don't take it personal Amelia, you know he being the only son and all." Roger Pierceson held out his hand and Amelia took it. He to was not fond of the touchy feely, they understood each other perfectly on that point. She gave his hand a good hard shake. " Good to see you sir, I am sure you are thrilled to have all these people banging around your house."
" Of course I am not Amelia, but what I want and like is rarely a consideration with my wife. Thirty is milestone birthday she said, we have to throw him a party she said, of course your city friends can stay at the house she said. Amelia my child I just pay the damned bills and stay the hell out of the rest of it. It's far less stressful on me that way." His son finally freed himself from his Mother and he pulled him into an embrace of his own, he saved his public displays of affection or those who mattered most to him. Brianna who had apparently been the big lump under the blanket in the front of the bus finally emerged and squealed with delight at the sight of her parents. Amelia turned and walked a few feet away not wanting anyone to see the look of " Oh please" that covered her face. If they only knew how she talked about them they would be appalled. Teresa and Roger were little more than cash cows to their little girl, she rarely visited or called unless she needed money. She supposed the act she was putting on now was going to cost them a whole lot.
" Come on in everyone we have a huge brunch waiting for all of you, and then you can go to your rooms and get cleaned up, or take a nap, or take a dip in the pool, or go down to the beach,you have the whole afternoon to enjoy the grounds before the big birthday bash. Just please be sure to steer clear of the area where the party is being held, the caterers are working very hard to get everything perfect for tonight!
Amelia made her way into the house leaving her bag against the entrance wall and walked into the great room. All off the windows were opened and she could hear the sound of the surf hitting the beach down below, the house was elevated and you had to walk down a flight of stairs to get to the beach, from the top floor though you could see the Atlantic and it was a especially beautiful at night when the moon shined down over the water. Romantic she thought. She'd stayed here a couple of times when she was with David but she hadn't gotten a room with that view until she was on her own. She looked back to find Adam, he was talking to his Father but he caught her looking at him and gave her a smile. Roger turned to see who his son was looking at and then said something to his son that made him turn away and steer the conversation out of her eyesight.
She turned back to the open windows, enjoying the feel of the sun on her face and the of the breeze on her exposed skin. She heard the voices fade behind her, knew everyone was heading into the dinning room and then to the terrace to eat but she didn't move.
" You going to stand in that sunbeam all day? Not that you don't need some color on that white skin of ours, especially the parts that no one can see right now." He was close enough behind her that no one would really be able to hear him but her but still she was a bit flummoxed he would reference the night before in the living room of his parents house.
" I bet it looks wondrous in the moonlight." He said it into her ear, his mouth brushing the tip sending a shiver through her. He'd spoken to her like that a thousand times. She'd never closed her eyes and locked her knees. But she did this time.
" What are you doing Adam?" she turned to face him. " How is it possible for you to flip a switch I didn't even know existed. You have to explain all this to me cause right now I am in the middle of what the hell is happening here land all alone."
" Adam?" His Mother's voice called from another room. She would be there in seconds. They was no point in trying to continue this now. She sighed and told him to go to her, to give her a moment and she would follow. The last thing she needed was everyone's eyes on the two of them walking into the room together after what happened on the bus. She hated the idea of everyone else speculating about something going on between the two of them before she had the chance to figure out what was going on between the two of them.
She poured herself a glass of water from the a tray by the bar and was sipping it slowly watching some pelicans fly across the sky outside when another voice came from behind her. This voice was much less welcomed than the last. She rolled her eyes as he did tried to apologize for what he had done in the bus and she wondered where the hell his wife was now. She never thought she'd wish for that woman's presence but right now it would be most welcome.
" You know he's been in love with you since we were together." he stopped and waited. She finally moved her body to face him.
" Yeah I figured that would get your attention. Bet it's thrown you for a loop, him declaring himself now after all this time. I couldn't believe it myself when I saw the two of you in his room last night." He walked up to the bar and poured himself what looked like Scotch. A bit early for that but hey if it kept him talking. Drink away ass wipe she thought.
" What are you talking about David, are you trying to start shit? Adam was your best friend while we were together." she watched as he took a long gulp of his drink. He looked amused. She was getting pissed.
" Why yes he was Amelia and that is exactly why he never did anything about it even after he knew I was cheating on you with Samantha." The shock must have registered on her face, she had figured he'd known all along but she had never asked him out right. She just couldn't bring herself to. He wasn't loyal to her then like he was now. Then he was David's best friend not hers and even if he thought David was wrong he'd have had his best friends back. " Even when you were crying on his shoulder and while he watched you rebuild your life and all that other shit you spew. He didn't do a thing, didn't make a move but that doesn't mean he wasn't head over heels in love with you. He is Amelia. He has been for seven years. Since the first time he came to Florida and visited me. I knew it then, I know it now." He laughed then, he wasn't laughing at the fact Adam loved her either, that he could understand. He was laughing at her for being so stupid she didn't know.
" I guess I should count myself lucky it only took me a year to get your attention. For a smart woman you sure are dense." she wanted to slap the shit out him now. That snug look on his face needed to be removed with violence.
" Why are you telling me all this David?" she asked another question to distract herself instead.
" Cause I am a fucking shit, who dicked you over and I am hoping that if I can finally push the two of you together you will both be happy." He was looking down and he'd folded his hands in his pockets. His mannerisms of contrition.
"He will keep dancing around you, waiting for you to figure it out and that,which no offense could take forever. He's been waiting for seven years and you have been on your own for more than two. You may not believe me but I want both of you to be happy." His reasons may be partially self serving, wanting to be freed of the guilt he felt and perhaps the anger she felt toward him but he was being truthful.
" I don't want you to pull any more shit like you did in the bus, can you manage that? The urge to hit him had passed now she just wanted to insure he'd been chastised into submission. " You know that wasn't going to get you anywhere but on his bad side. You say you want Adam to be happy but I can assume you don't want to ruin your friendship in the process?"
" I'd rather not." He replied begrudgingly
" Then stay out of it, let us find our own way and whatever you do David don't tell him we had this conversation."
" Why?" he looked puzzled.
"Because I can assume that Adam never outright told you how he felt about me and he would be mortified if he knew you knew that he'd secretly coveted your girlfriend for five years." he squinted at her. So she continued. " I am not wrong am I?"
" No he never said anything definitive. Always implied in the way he spoke of you, complimented you, defended you and after we ended befriended you, stayed by your side. We stayed friends but you became to him what I had been. You know he'd never had a woman best friend, he was always a guys guy until you came along. That was how I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt it was more than just a friendship for him. For a lot of women being one of the boys would be a sure sign that he wasn't that into you but for Adam it is the ultimate compliment. He never lets women in like he lets his bros in and you Amelia are closer to him than anyone has ever gotten." Movement in the next room startled the two of them " Don't worry I won't tell him anything and I promise to behave myself the remainder of the weekend." He slide from the room out the terrace doors heading toward the back of the house.
Roger came into the room " You okay in here Amelia? Everyone is wondering what is keeping you?" She knew the only person in that other room wondering about her was Adam but she smiled graciously
"Forgive me,we were up very late last night and I fell asleep on the bus. I needed a few minutes for the cloud in my head to lift. But I am ready now, starving actually. I know that you had to have arranged a fabulous spread for us." She walked towards him and he let her pass but followed and they chatted the short way to where the food was and then he parted her company to find his wife. Outside the chatting and laughter she'd expected on the bus here was now in full swing the volume getting louder by the second. She wanted to go find her room, lie in her bed and go back to sleep, at the very least find a space where she could actually be alone for a moment to process all that David had just said to her, all that Adam had said to her since last night. But instead she put food on a plate grabbed a mimosa and joined the others. She put on her happy party face and did her best to be engaging. She would catch Adam's eye from time to time and he seemed pleased so she knew her efforts weren't in vain. She had no idea when their conversation would continue but for now she had to get her mind off of all of it and enjoy this beautiful weekend and celebrate her best friends big day.
She excused herself from going to the beach with everyone after brunch she told Adam she had the beginnings of one of her headaches from hell and she would be out of commission that evening if she didn't nip it in the bud then and there. Having sat up with her on more than a few occasions while she puked her brains out and saw stars instead of his face he didn't question her. He did escort her to her room though and and after asking several times if she wanted him to stay with her she finally got him to go join his friends with a kiss on the cheek. He left beaming and she had closed herself up in her room, unpacked her bag, hung her dress on the back of the door in the bathroom so it could get a bit of a steam when she showered later and then after popping a pill and drinking another tall glass of water, she was regretting that mimosa, she fell asleep on a chaise lounge on the balcony.
" Amelia?" She was being gently shaken awake. " Amelia, come on girl it's almost five you have at least two hours worth of prep work before you'll be ready for the party." He was teasing her but she hated being woken up. She slapped his hand away.
" I look perfectly fine the way I am." she mumbled and stuck out her tongue. " Maybe I'll go just like this" she turned in the chair so that her back was to him, she tried to snuggle back into the warmth of the day but her mind was already starting to awaken and soon her bladder would start talking to it so there was really no use.
" I am sure you have to pee, so unless you want me to start tickling you I suggest you get up and get moving." she felt hands creeping towards her sides and just before he could start she jumped up out of the chair.
" Okay okay, I am awake." she must have looked half crazed, her eyes wide and her hair sticking out ( she could feel it was going everywhere) so she blinked a few times and ran her hand though her hair pulling out her half undone ponytail. He watched her a silent laugh running all over his face but he stayed in his seat.
" Did you have fun at the beach? You missed a few spots with the sunscreen." she pointed at a rather large spot on the side of his neck, it was quickly turning lobster red.
" Didn't have the sunscreen police down there with me making sure I got every single inch of my exposed skin." he gave it a rub which only made it even redder smart ass she thought.
" Really? Where was your Mother?" she batted her wide eyes at him and this time his laughter was out loud.
"She did her best but I kept running into the water to get away from her, she really is in " Oh my baby boy isn't a baby any more" mode. It's been a bit suffocating. You feeling any better?" He gave her a once over and stared into her eyes looking to see if there was any pain reflected in them.
" Yeah the drugs and the nap did the trick. Sorry I coped out on the day but you know how I get."
" Yes I do" he stood " and that is why I left you be and let you get some rest. I wanted you to be good for tonight. Besides I know the beach isn't your favorite thing. There is only so many shells you could have found out there today." He gave her a wink " But maybe later once the party is over we could take a walk? We could ring in my actual birthday with a bit of just you and me time? What do you say best buddy and pal?"
She cocked her head to one side and gave his proposition some thought, before she wouldn't have hesitated but now a walk on a dark quiet beach with her best friend probably held other more intimate implications. She wasn't to keen on taking David's word for things and innuendo and half completed conversations with Adam wasn't cutting it for her either so she figured her best chance at getting some answers of seeing what this was and where it was going was to have no one and nothing standing in between the two of them.
" That would be nice" Adam's beaming face told her she'd hadn't hesitated to long and her agreement pleased him.
" Great, that's just great.. Well I guess I will get out of your hair, got to climb in the shower and wash all this beachy goodness of me. I'll come a knocking when it is time to get moving." He stood and walked down the balcony to the sliding doors that lead into his room, right next to hers, connected, she was just inches away from him and he to her. He'd come knocking on the glass of her doors every visit since she'd started staying in that room, just about every night, even if he'd been there with someone else he always came knocking. That had never been anything less than comforting to her but at this moment she wondered if things weren't right, if something went wrong with the two of them, she'd have no space between them in which to hide. He opened his doors and slid inside peaking his head back out a minute later
" Amelia, get a move on. Whatever it is going on around in your head put it on pause, big, huge, epic party to get ready for!!!" he snapped his fingers at her to emphasis his point and while she hated to be snapped at like that she walked quickly into her room and shut and locked the sliding glass doors. She stopped midway to the bathroom and looked back at the glass doors, why had she locked it? She'd never locked it before? She supposed she wasn't sure she could trust him not to ambush her in the shower but if by some chance he tried the door and found it locked he would surely be hurt. She went back and unlocked it. She'd lock the bathroom door instead, she always did that even at home alone. She grabbed her undergarments from their drawer, she would put them on under her robe just in case she had company when she came out of the bath.
An hour and a half later there was a knock at the door, she came scrambling out of the bathroom her earring was giving her fits but as she dashed for the door it finally snapped into place and she was shaking her head at what a pain in the ass it had been when she thrust the door open. The person on the other side of the door was not Adam instead she found herself standing face to face with David's Mother.
" Mrs. Levinson, what a surprise." she should have expected her to be here if David was here but she sure didn't expect her to be here, now.
" Not a wholly unpleasant one I hope." she walked into the room. " Do close the door Amelia, I have something I'd like to speak to you about in private."
Amelia closed the door slowly hoping beyond hope that Adam would show himself before it clicked shut.
" No need to be nervous Amelia and you needn't worry my husband is not here with me." Candice Levinson took a seat in the one of the chairs in the small seating area in the corner of the room. Amelia was not a fan of Mr. Levinson in fact he was the biggest dick she had ever met. She hated him more than she hated his son.
" He is in the French Rivera with his latest whore." She ran her hands down her skirt pulling it down from under her and adjusted herself discreetly until she was just right in her seat.
" I am sorry to hear that." she known he was a cheat from the moment she had met him but now it seemed that Mrs. Levinson was finally clued in as well, okay pretending to not be clued in was more accurate but from the tone in the woman's voice Amelia could hope that Mr .Levinson was on his way out.
Mrs. Levinson smiled " You know Amelia I always liked you, no matter how much charm my husband put on you never liked him. I wish you'd realized that the apple didn't fall far from the tree before you actually got your heart broken but I suppose one can not assume that a son will automatically follow in his cheating scumbag of a Father's shoes now can you?" She pointed to the seat next to her and Amelia silently took it.
" You look well, that dress is this Carolina Herrera no?"
" Yes this seasons, she took one of the pleats in the skirt of her dress in between her finger tips and gave it a good press together.
" Her work is usually suited for someone with a few more years on her but this particular dress has a youthful feel, classy and classic, the color is on trend for the season, a beautiful shade, reminds me of the blood oranges I have growing in the garden at my house here. The emerald earrings are a nice touch, I believe those were a gift from my son no?" Amelia's hand rushed to her earlobes she hadn't given it a thought when she'd picked them out but she was right they had been a gift from David.
" Yes our second Christmas together." She wondered if Adam would make the connection, she knew David would. She wanted to take them out immediately.
" They go perfectly dear no need to apologize or hide beautiful gifts like that, she fingered the necklace adorning her neck, it was giant pieces of perfectly cut various kinds of quartz " My husband gave this to me on our first anniversary. Since then my husband has given me numerous pieces of jewelry, all far more extravagant and worth millions but this piece is still my favorite. Do you know why?"
She didn't " No why? "
" Because this was the only piece he bought me with his own money, it was the only piece he ever gave me that didn't have guilt behind it, it was the one piece that my husband gave me when he had still been living by the vows he'd made to me on the day we got married. I would never give it away nor stop wearing it. It symbolizes a great time in my life, I prefer to think of the memories that surrounded it and not those that happened long after I received it. If it makes you feel any better about wearing those lovely earrings, I helped him pick them out. They seemed very you and of course I was right." She took Amelia's hand and sat it back on her lap. " Adam will not care that you are wearing them, he knows where they came from."
What did Candice know about her and Adam? " Why would it matter to me if Adam cared about my earrings Mrs. Levinson?" she tried to look confused and innocent but the smile that spread across the woman's face told her she didn't accomplish either.
" Amelia, my son filled me in when I arrived, not that it was any secret to anyone, well at least anyone but you."
She sighed " I guess I am just a fool never sees what is right in front of her." She'd always thought she was aware of the world around her but apparently she wasn't quite that good at deciphering the men around her. She hadn't known David was cheating, she hadn't realized Adam was infatuated with her. She hated feeling ignorant..
" No not a fool, just overly cautious, I have known Adam his entire life, he has never been decisive, wanting one thing one second, dropping it the next. Never finished anything he starts and frankly while he has never been one to stray he hasn't exactly been one for long term relationships. So even if he had shown you his intentions in the past you'd have been wary to return his affections and you would have been right to be cautious then. He wasn't ready for you, he has changed quite a bit in the last two years, both of his parents have commented, on more than one occasion of his more serious turn. I know his Mother credits you with that change. She was a bit apprehensive at first, when she realized her only son wanted to be with his best friends ex-girlfriend but she has gotten over that. She has also got the itch for him to settle down, get married have babies."
Amelia's eyes got wide, her palms started to sweat and she had to swallow several times to get the lump out of her throat. " I am not quite sure I am the one she should be thinking of for all that. Adam and I are no where near the happily ever after stage, he hasn't even told me he cares for me himself. Until last night we were best friends and that was it. Now in twenty four hours everyone us has started looking at us differently, giving me testimonials and proclamations. If Mrs. Pierceson is expecting all that she may find herself very disappointed."
" Hum, well I can see how that thought is very premature, the sweat forming across your brow is a sure indicator of that." she took a close look at one of her nails, seemingly spotting an imaginary chip in it's perfectly polished tip. She shook her head in disgust " Now we shall change the subject no?"
Yes I think that might be best." she was talking to everyone about Adam and her except for Adam, it didn't seem right to her.
" Well then good, I will get to why I came here, I have something for you." She pulled a envelope out of her long black Chanel clutch. Amelia took it, opened it and pulled the papers out within. Mrs. Levinson waited silently as she unfolded them and saw what they were. It was the deed to her apartment, a deed that clearly stated she was the sole owner of the property. One of the reasons she hated David's father so much was he had tried to kick her out of the apartment after they had broken up, she'd come home and found movers in her place, touching her personal possessions and boxing them up. They had fought for three months and finally for reasons she'd never really understand he'd agreed to rent her the the place.
" My husband never owned that apartment, it always belonged to me. It was the first place I lived when I moved out from underneath my parents roof. My father bought it for me on my twenty second birthday and now Amelia I am giving it to you."
Amelia folded up the paper and put it back in the envelope, there was no way she could take this. No matter how much easier it would make her life she'd always feel as though she'd been handed something she hadn't earned. " I can't possibly accept this, it's to much." She knew what that apartment was worth.
" You certainly can and you will. I have heard wonderful things about you Amelia, I have kept track of your progress these last two years, you are very talented woman, one who has great vision for style. You may not realize but many of my friends are your clients at Saks. I didn't send them your way, I could have but I wanted to sit back and wait and watch and see if you had the strength to make a go of it. I know it isn't what you expected to do with your life but you have a flair not only in your own personal sense of style but in helping others find just the right pieces to go with theirs. I know Saks is a great starting point but someday I think you should move out on your own, start your own business as a personal stylist and when that day comes the last thing you need to be worried about is paying the rent. I am giving you this apartment you can stay in it, you can sell it, you can rent it out. Whatever you desire to do with it, it is solely up to you. I am divorcing my husband and he will try to take many things that were never his to begin with but this my dear will not be one of them. I should have given it to you back then, when he was trying to take you out of it, but I hadn't quite found my backbone or voice again then. Now I sit up straight and talk very loudly. You see Amelia when my son cheated on you I woke up, I realized that I had not only hurt myself all those years, looking the other way, pretending we were a happy family while my husband cheated on me repeatedly. No I had hurt my son to. He grew up believing that type of behavior was acceptable, tolerated. I did him a horrible injustice and now I find he has become much to my dismay exactly like his Father. That is my shame and greatest disappointment. I am hoping that there is something I can do to fix that, to show him that women are not toys, or game pieces. I am hoping he will see me for who I really am and will be faithful to the vows he took with his wife.." She didn't sound to sure that he would be able to live up to that.
Amelia retracted the envelope and held it tightly with both hands. " Thank you Candice, I appreciate this more than you will ever know."
Candice Levinson nodded, smiled tightly and stood " No I know all to well and you are very welcome. I wish you nothing but the very best and if you need anything you know where to find me." She left the room a trail of Chanel number five lingered behind her. Amelia was still sitting in the chair staring at the envelope when Adam arrived at her door. He looked in but then did a double take a look of " Did I just see who I thought I saw" appeared on his face.
" Was that David's Mother?" he hooked his thumb in the direction she had gone as he came into the room.
" Yes, it was she came by to say hello." Amelia stood and took the envelope over to the dresser and put it inside. She didn't want to share what had just happened right then. She needed time to process it herself before she told him. He would have tons of questions and she didn't want to get into the whole of Candice and her conversation at this moment.
" Didn't even know she was coming, are you okay? Was it awkward?" he cocked his head to one side and waited.
" I am fine and somewhat but not nearly as much as you might imagine. I always got along with Candice and she was very kind just now. She told me she had heard good things about me and my work at Saks." She smiled and using Adam's shoulder to steady her stepped into her heels. " I have to say I was quite pleased with what she had to say" She smiled and gave the lapel on Adam's suit swipe with the back of her fingertips. " Lent" she then gave the hem of the jacket a tug cleaning up the line of suit " Wrinkle"
He just shook his head and gave the hem of her dress a tug in return.
" Those are pleats Adam, they are supposed to be there." she pulled his hand away and looked down to examine for any damage.
" You look perfect" his gaze was appreciative and as she watched him watching her she felt the blush creep up the back of her neck, best to get out of this light quickly she was quite sure she would impossibly red within seconds. She didn't look away though, the connection was keeping her locked in place. His upper lip curled upward into the slightest of smiles. He looked like a boy who was up to no good but was sure he wasn't going to get caught. Tonight his complimenting her attire gave her a sense of accomplishment, she hadn't dressed to please anyone but herself in a very long time but it was nice to know that Adam liked how she looked, she worried about that now that she knew he was seeing her in a different light. She felt confident she wasn't disappointing him on his big night.
She turned away first moving to the mirror to take one last look at her reflection, she pushed back a few stray wisps of hair she hated that no matter what she did to her hair they were always there, mocking her attempts to look put together. Adam bent into view next to her taking a long look at his tie, he grimaced and he gave it a slight tug bringing it back to straight. They stood there another minute side by side each of them silently taking in the idea of them being a twosome. They looked polished, put together but not quite the right fit. The questions were all in her face, her posture, her demeanor, they were all slightly ridged. Adam on the other hand was standing there as if they were a solidified twosome. Confident, steadfast, committed. In love. Amelia sucked in and then let out a deep breath, entirely to much pressure in this room, the switch may have been flipped and there was no turning it back off but at this moment it was time to vacate and get to the relative safety of a huge group of people.
" We should join the party don't you think? Everyone must be looking for you by now? " The house around them was quiet but she could hear the faint sounds of music drifting up from the beach.
" Yeah we probably shouldn't keep everyone waiting." He'd been looking forward to this weekend forever and yet he seemed hesitant to leave the room. He shook the thoughts in his head away, a proper it's my birthday smile appeared on his face, a gleam of a party boy twinkled in his eye. He'd turned another switch, one that would once again pocket what was being left unsaid between them and let him concentrate on being the grateful son, the appreciative friend, the humbled and overwhelmed guest of honor. He let her take the lead and they walked down the stairs and out the back doors and when he extended his arm to help her though the grass she gratefully took it not letting it go once they reached the walkway that lead down to the tent, not when they walked in and everyone greeted them with cheers and applause, not when he was surrounded by friends and family all wanting to wish him a Happy Birthday. No she held on tightly, moved with him as he made his way though the crowd and let the idea of her being on his arm, in this way, soak into her skin. She found that she didn't mind it, that it felt nice to bask in the light of his happiness, that some of it seemed to weave itself around her and lighten her load. When he lead her to the dance floor she didn't stop him, she let him hold her close and sway her to the music. He made witty,snarky comments about some of the party goers in her ear, making her laugh despite herself. They were seated at the same table at dinner, though not side by side and she found him watching her on several occasions as they made their way though the meal. She would smile and let her gaze linger for a moment in return before reengaging in her conversation. Adam had taken a while to grow on her, she'd been weary of him, he was to loud, to crazy, to fun driven. He was the spastic yen to her neurotic yang. They had become so close, to close perhaps, so close she'd been blinded to what they were becoming. She relied on him for so many things, she hadn't realized how much until now and while people made their speeches and toasts she found herself drifting away, wandering though the last few years, looking for the signs she had missed, how he'd come to Saks and sit with her in Rock Center, eating lunch, shooting the shit, always leaving her feeling high and happy no matter how bad her day went. How he held the door open for her, always tried to pay when they went out, even though she'd finally gotten him to agree to a you pay then I pay arrangement, she recounted parties and get togethers where he'd flirted the night away but always went home when she did. She couldn't think of the last time he'd been with anyone? It had to have been more than six months since he had been on a date? Could that be right? Had he been preparing for this that long? Knowing, she was sure that one of her sticking points in the idea of a relationship with him would be his notorious inability to let a woman stick to him more than a few months. She mused over the thought of Sunday brunches on the floor of his apartment after falling asleep on the couch watching their alternating choices of action and chick flicks and then mad dashes around the neighborhood or into the city running errands or shopping sales in the afternoon. No matter what he was patient, present, helpful when they were doing things together. Yes they had their moments, they fought, argued, got on each others nerves but none of that ever bothered them for long. She'd always thought that that was because they had become best friends and that was how best friends were, they could drive each other mad but always find their way back to a good place, they could spend days or weeks without seeing each other and come back together and talk and act as though that time had never passed, that was how she and Adam had become, that was who they were to each other. But if she stood back and looked at their big picture the only thing that was missing in their relationship was the sex. They were emotionally intertwined in every other possible way. Why hadn't it ever happened? Adam had never had a problem pursuing women, he couldn't possibly have been afraid of her rejecting him? Or worried what would happen if things didn't work out between them? No Adam didn't worry about that sort of thing, not that she had ever seen but she sure did and so as Adam stood in front of his family and friends and said a few words of thanks to everyone she had to assume that the reason he had never gone there was because of her. He worried about what she would do if they took that step, worried about how she would react if things didn't work out. So yet again she had to wonder why make a move now? She was brought back to the party as the cake rolled out and people stood and gathered closer to the dance floor and started to sing Happy Birthday. She joined them and sang along and clapped wildly when everyone finished and Adam blew out the candles in one try.
She went back to her seat and waited as the cake was cut and brought around to the tables, something sweet sounded fantastic at that moment and she happily dug in when her piece was sat in front of her.
" You gonna taste that cake?" Adam sat down next to her, the formality of dinner was over people were moving about the space freely, the volume was turned up to full blast.
"Trust me I am tasting it and it is quite good. It's hitting the right spot!" She took another fork full and slipped it slowly in her mouth, making sure to chew several times before swallowing.
He shook his head at her and then took up a fork full of his own, " My Mother used to buy cakes from this bakery when I was a kid and pass them off as her own. One year for Brianna's birthday she actually attempted to make the cake and Brianna blew a gasket. Her reaction was totally over the top and it embarrassed the hell out of my Mother but the cake was bad, really bad." He chuckled as he took another bite.
" She never tried to be Susie homemaker again, let me tell you." She looked over his shoulder to see his parents sitting side by side across the room from them. They were sharing a piece of cake and cups of coffee looking content with one another.
" They seem to be happy?" she formed it as a question because you simply couldn't tell by the face people put on in public. She'd been around them but she didn't think she could say that it was ever without them in the mist of putting on a show for those who were staying at the house. The way you acted when you had company was often very different than the way you acted when alone, or with your immediate family. She could certainly attest to that with her family. Everyone had thought her parents were the happiest of couples, dedicated to their families, always involved in school activities, church functions and local charitable organizations. They had put on the public face of the perfect family but within the four walls of their house, her Mother was an unmedicated manic depressive and her Father was a drunk. They fought all the time and their expectations of their kids never failed to met new often unreachable heights. Getting away from them and their non stop scrutiny and potential disappointment was another reason she jumped at the chance to move to New York. She only spoke to them when she had to and she hadn't been home since before she and David had broken up. She didn't want to end up like them and she held on to the hope that somewhere there were actually couples who were as happy as they seemed.
" They are, ever after all these years they still compliment each other. They drive each other nuts sometimes but they genuinely love each other and they have worked on their marriage over the years. They are in a good place in their lives and have much more time for one another now. It's their time and I am happy for them." They both watched his parents but turned away as his Father leaned in and said something that made his Mother laugh and bury her face into his sleeve. The moment was intimate and it seemed inappropriate to keep staring at them.
" Well they are happily engaged which means they will not miss us for a while. you ready for that walk you promised me?' She took a look around the room everyone was off in their own little worlds and she didn't foresee any distractions to keep them from having a moment alone.
" Sure, are we going down to the beach?" He nodded so she kicked her shoes off and left them under the table. There was no way she was walking in sand with those puppies on. They both stood and several heads including David's turned in their direction. One of Adam's co-workers walked past and gave him a half hug and a slap on the back, Adam gave her an eye roll but still engaged him in some light hearted ribbing about being one year closer to over the hill. So much for their exit being inconspicuous. She sighed and headed towards the edge of the tent. She caught Adam's eye and pointed outward he nodded indicating that he would join her as soon as he could. She walked though the grass, it was cool and slightly damp and tickled her between the toes. She scratched that itch as she walked down the wooden stairs and then onto the sand. There were several party guests milling around a small bonfire, drinking and talking loudly, she hoped that there were plenty of safe rides waiting those people at the end of the night. Down by the water there was a couple splashing each other with their feet and she saw several other couples strolling the beach at various distances. She thought of waiting there for Adam but decided against it, no one was paying any attention to her now but knowing her luck as soon as Adam joined her everyone would look over or walk up and she'd loose her chance at any one on one time this evening.
When she got to the spot she was looking for, a little alcove surrounded on three sides with dune and rock she took a seat in the sand and stared out at the ocean. She was slightly mesmerized by the moons gaze on the water and had been lulled into a state of utter calm but the sound of the waves crashing against the shore when she finally heard the sound of his footsteps approaching. She turned slightly to make sure it was him, she smiled when she saw it was and then looked back out at the water as he sat down beside her.
" Do you remember the first time you found me in this spot?" She knew he would find her here, they'd sat here so many times before, it would be as automatic for him to find her there as it was for her to wade through the sand to get to it. " I had had a huge fight with David and had stormed out of the house. I didn't know where I was going, at one point I'd stupidly thought about walking all the way back to New York on the beach. I was so pissed."
" Yeah you were, you still were when I finally found you down here. When you hadn't come back to the house after an hour I got antsy and came looking for you. Left David still being a prick in the living room."
" Figures he didn't care one bit I was gone, what could have happened to me, not even enough to come find me so he could continue the fight." She shook her head and started to laugh. Why had she spent so much of her life with that man? So much time after it was over worrying about what had gone wrong? Looking back she should have known then, they'd been together half a year and when she thought about that fight now, " What a prick?" he bumped her shoulder this wasn't where this conversation was supposed to go but everything about the two of them had started with David. She bumped him back and turned the conversation back into the direction of the the two of them. " You were great that night, coming down here and letting me vent at you and then waiting with me until I calmed down and then making me laugh all the way back to the house."
" Yeah that was the night you finally warmed up to me" she had been pretty cold to him up until that point. " I guess that was the first night you saw something in me other than the drunken frat boy."
" You WERE a drunken frat boy, who by the way had spent the majority of the last time I had saw him drunk or hungover" they had gone to Disney World at the beginning of Christmas Break not exactly the party capital of the world but that hadn't stopped him and David from finding a place to party all three of the nights they had spent there. It had made the days at the parks a lot less fun for her that was for sure. Adam went to say something in his defense but she cut him off " Who also decided to get into my teacup even after I begged him not to and then proceed puke all over my brand new shoes a minute into the ride. I couldn't get the thought of that moment or the smell out of those puppies and had to toss them in the trash before we even left Orlando."
" Okay okay OKAY, I am guilty as charged, I was young and on vacation and YOU were a total stick in the mud. I thought you hated me after that trip. You spent the rest of Christmas break at your parents and refused to go with us on Spring Break, I never thought you'd agree to come to New York that Summer much less come here and stay in my house."
" I didn't hate you, just thought you brought the worse out in David." How wrong had she been? She used to think that Adam brought that side out in him but after spending much more time with them both she found out it was the other way around. His hand was right next to her thigh, he was picking up handfuls of sand and letting it seep though his fingers. He always had to be doing something with his hands She wanted to reach out and take it in hers to see if it would be still when she held it.
" That is not any better. I never wanted you to think I was a bad guy. I wanted us to get along right from the beginning." he looked down at her.
"You could have said something you know, you didn't have to let him make you the bad guy."
" I didn't care when he made me out to be the bad influence most of the time, what did it matter who started the party? But I hated the idea that you thought I was the asshole in the equation. But I can't blame you for thinking it, I let him make me the scapegoat, he was my best friend and you were just his girl. Why should I care what you thought? But I did care Amelia, I cared all to fucking much and that was why I came after you that night, I was so pissed at him and worried about you. I walked out on him and came looking for you." he turned away from her and looked to the water. " You know what else I remember about that night? I remember that night being the no turning back point." he stopped talking, moving and for a moment she thought breathing as well but after a few seconds he let out a deep breath.
She bent forward and tried to catch his eye, she tilted her head batted her eyes and gave him her best I am listening do go on look. His lips turn just slightly it wasn't often she was the one who tried to lighten the mood, it wasn't often he was the one who had something weighing heavily enough on them that they couldn't get it out. From everything she'd learned in the last two days Adam had been holding in feelings for her for years, she had no idea how she would be able to get the words to form and move though her mouth when the time finally came to express them. She sat back and this time when she looked down at his hand which was now bouncing up and down on his leg she took it. She pushed her fingers though the spaces in-between his and gave him a tight squeeze. Her thumb rested on his wrist and she could feel his pulse vibrating though his flesh, his fingers stopped twitching and moved to clasp hers in return.
" I knew I was in trouble the moment I met you, you were so different and before you say anything I don't mean that in a bad way. I found you to be both street and book smart, you were sarcastic and snarky but not in a annoying way in a smooth delightfully evil way, you did it cleverly and with finesse, you were constantly aware of your surroundings, scoped out every room, pegged each person in it, knew immediately who was and who was not worth your time. You have this quiet intense force that surrounds you at all times ,it is both intimidating and inspiring. You were self-aware without being vain, you could blend into any room, communicate about almost every subject, you hold yourself with just the right about of grace. Sometimes you could be judgmental and leery, but I came to understand why you were that way later. You have your reasons for being cautious about really letting people in to your life and all I could think of after that night here on the beach was I had to find my way in. I'd been fighting off the idea of you all year, even after you ripped me a new one for tossing my cookies all over your shoes. MAN did I find that unbelievably hot, you are extra sizzling when you are pissed off. But that night when I got to see every side of you, the softer side, the hurt side, I knew there was no going back. I was completely smitten and yet I couldn't do anything about it. You were with David but after that every time you two fought, every time you and I were in the same room together I coveted you, I wanted you for my own. The more I got to know you, the more you let me in the more that feeling grew. When I found out David was cheating I wanted to tell you, I did, and the fact that I didn't haunts me. I hate myself but I was so torn and honestly I thought if it comes from me you would have killed the messenger and I would never have a chance. So I waited and when he finally came out with it, ended it, I was there for you. I needed to be there for you in any way you needed because it meant I got to be close to you, no matter how much you were hurting it was just me and you and there was no longer a David buffer. I didn't let myself act on what I felt for you then at first because you were so angry and there was no way you would reciprocate what I felt, you weren't capable of looking at a guy without wanting to take his balls off and then later when you started to heal I didn't say or do anything because I didn't want to be the rebound guy. Those relationships rarely last and I didn't want to have you for a few weeks, or a few months I wanted a chance at forever. And then so much time passed and there never was a rebound guy, you dated so little and threw yourself into you work and we fell into this easy companionship that was so great I didn't want to rock the boat. I was just enjoying being close to you, having you be completely comfortable around me and a regular part of my every day life."
She had so many things she wanted to say running though her head but she didn't dare interrupt him for long so she simply asked " So what changed? Why now?"
" Something about turning 30, the idea that I was starting a new chapter, a new decade. I know it's not old but it's older and this spring I kept having this recurring dream that one day I woke up and time started to fly, literally right past my face as I was looking into the bathroom mirror and before I knew it I was old, grey and alone and you, you were gone. I could tell by that old man's reflection that you weren't in my life any more, I could feel it, like he did, the regret and the longing. I don't want that to happen for real. I've worked hard the last two years to get myself to a point where I would be worthy, be what you would expect from a serious contender. I stopped the balls to the wall partying, I finally took the job working for my Father, I buckled down and found the serious. I wanted to be someone you could be proud of."
Amelia shook her head, she never asked him to change anything, would never expect that of him. Why would he think that she would need those things? It hurt her to think that he would think he had to change himself to please her. She had thought he had done those things for himself. To give himself a better life. She thought his life was better now. He seemed happy with the success he'd gained. Now she couldn't help but wonder if he was faking it all. " I never asked you to change anything for me Adam, never expected that? I wouldn't want you to do anything that makes you unhappy. If you don't want to work for your father or if you want to go out and party then that is what you should do. This is your life and if you think I want to be the reason you look back when you are old and grey and have other longings and regrets because you held yourself back from doing what you wanted to do, from being who you wanted to be then you don't know me as well as you think. I would never want to be the person who made you into someone else just to suit themselves." She had fought so hard to make her own way, to be respected for her life choices she wouldn't take that away from someone else even if she didn't believe in what they were doing, how they were living. To each his own. Everyone deserved to be happy in their own way on their own terms.
" Oh come on Amelia, you may deal with that when it comes to a friend but you would never be fine with the life of a party boy vagabond as a boyfriend and besides I may have started all of this in the hopes of impressing you but it turned into something I wanted to do. I found I am good at it, and it's done wonders for my relationship with my parents, my father especially. I like my job, never thought I would want to be stuck in a nine to five but it's great to have some constancy and a steady paycheck, one I earn. I'm not relying on my father to pay my way or my mother to slip me money across the table when she comes into the city for lunch. My health is better, I look better, feel better, don't worry so much about my liver being shot by 40. It was time to grow up the idea of you may have been the push I needed to get started but the rest I did for me. I'm happier now than I've ever been. The only thing that would make it better would be you." he grinned his little boy grin and she melted a little more. He looked so hopeful she didn't want to say or do anything to take that away from him but she didn't think there was anything she could say at that moment that wouldn't put the hope he had for the two of them, together, in question. Her mind was to flooded with to many questions, emotions, doubts, fears. She didn't think she was ready for this, to do this again. But if Adam wasn't worth taking that risk for then who would be? She felt there was a very good chance that if she said no to him she would not find anyone else she'd be willing change her life for again. She would end up alone just like Adam in his dream. She'd be the one standing in front of a mirror fifty years from now looking back on this moment with regret and longing?
But she might have well have spoken her fears out loud for the pause in the conversation had dragged on to long and the smile faded from Adam's face, his head lowered his eyes held the sand and he his hand slipped from hers and found it's way to his lap.
" I can hear your mind whirling. Your gonna think this to death and keep me in limbo forever. I'm probably going to hate myself for opening this freaking can of worms aren't I?"
She couldn't tell him he wasn't, she didn't want to risk the lie but she also hated the idea of hurting him, he was the most important person in her life. She had to throw him a bone, she had to say something. " Do you have any idea how much you mean to me? How much your friendship has meant to me? I don't know how I would have gotten through the last two years without you. Your my rock, my partner in snarky crime, my comic relief. You're the sweetest most loving person I know."
" But?" he knew there had to be one after that declaration.
" Until two days ago I had no idea there was a possibility of anything else but friendship between us. I know that makes me look stupid and blind all things considering but I just thought that that ship had sailed. We've been friends for seven years, there is no mystery, you've heard me belch and fart and I've told you things I would never tell a lover. You've told me things I would never want to know about a lover. We've had no couples filter. How do we look past all that?" he looked at her then and she knew he'd have no problem with that on his end. It was clear he wanted her with all or despite of all that. He saw all of her and accepted the flaws. He could have turned her away many times over the years but he always stayed. He was patient and let their friendship grow at the her pace. Wouldn't he be able to do the same if she took a chance at something more? How could you turn someone like that away? She pushed herself forward onto her knees and scooched though the sand until she was in front of him. They were now the same height, eye to eye, she put her hands on his knees to steady her. She found that she was shaking and didn't want to fall over. His hands were poised in mid air, waiting for her to topple over or the signal they should grab on and hold tight. She heard him breath in deeply and swallow hard, despite the sound of the ocean roaring behind her. She focused on it letting it fill her head so no other thoughts could break though, she didn't want all the shit in her head to muck up what she was about to do. She steeled her shoulders, sucked in her lips to wet them and then leaned in and kissed him. As soon as her lips met his, his hands were on her waist, he pulled her into him and kissed her back, passionately, with meaning and gusto. A two year drought and seven years of pent up desire makes for one mind blowing kiss so when the popping sounds started she thought they were all in her head. But soon the sky filled with gold, red and silver light and the kiss stopped, they both pulled back and looked up. More and more fireworks lit up the sky.
" You have got to be kidding me!!" Adam pulled his hands across his face and she slid back into her seat next to him." I'd expected fireworks but not like this" he put his head between his legs. " My Mother is out of her mind" his voice was muffled by the sound of rockets red glare but soon she heard the unmistakable sound of him laughing. He turned and saw her looking at him like he was nuts and that set him off some more. He flopped backward onto the sand " Guess we should sit back and enjoy it." They sat quietly until the show was over, the big finale had her ears ringing and the sudden return to darkness left her temporarily blinded. She was rapidly blinking her eyes to get them to focus and wondering if they were going to pick up where they had left off when Adam broke the silence.
" Think we'd better get back. I'm sure my Mother is furious I wasn't front and center for her over the top display of birthday affection" He stood and held his hand out for her, she took it and let herself be pulled up off the sand.
" It was a beautiful show, try to be appreciative and not disapproving and I am sure any anger she may have will melt away instantly. She was just trying to give you the best birthday she could" He nodded and they shook the sand off of their clothes and walked back the way they came. There were far more people on the beach now and many stopped them to compliment him on the party and when he caught sight of his parents standing on the short boardwalk at the bottom of the stairs he plastered a smile on his face and called out to his Mother. He told her everything a Mom would want to hear but it was when she noticed her standing so close behind looking sheepish that the tension finally left her body and she began to smile. Everything was forgotten, forgiven by the time they climbed back up the stairs to the party. They both faded away from each other, the party taking them in separate directions but around two am when she no longer possessed the energy to stand she sought him out and she found him, sitting outside the tent at a table with a group of friends. They were laughing, eating cake and sipping champagne, unlike many of the party goers this group wasn't quite ready to call it a night. She however was done in. She took the seat next to Adam and shook her head when he offered her a glass of bubbly. " No I think I have reached my limit for the night. In fact I am going to head back up to the house, I just wanted to tell you good night." she found his hand, gave it a squeeze and then stood. He didn't bother to object he knew when she was done she was done and he didn't bother to get up either because he knew she wouldn't want him to go with her. She'd want him to stay and enjoy the rest of his night. If they were out somewhere in the city he'd have walked her to the door, waited for her until she got into a cab but tonight all she had to do was walk across the grass and back into the house. He did however reach for her arm as she took a step back. He smiled at her, keenly aware that all eyes were now on them both and smiled, that same smile on the beach. She nodded and smiled back and then placed a small light kiss on his temple. " Happy Birthday bestie," she whispered into his ear. She didn't look at anyone else there nor did she acknowledge the whistles and cat calls that erupted around the table as she walked away.
Once upstairs back within the relative safety of her room she immediately jumped into the shower, sand still clung to her in places and she felt a bit gritty. Sleeping like that was going to hard enough, no need for added distractions. Once cleansed and ready for bed she walked out onto the balcony and stood at the railing looking back down at the party. She found Adam where had left him, saw his head tilt back as he laughed heartily at something someone at the table had said and when he came back straight his eyes moved upward and fell on her. She froze, she hadn't wanted to get caught watching him, but she should have known he would sense her, or at the very least be looking for her to. She smiled, though she doubted he could see that from there so she added a small wave and then walked away from the railing and back to her room. The lights were already off, her body was screaming for rest and so she climbed under the covers and closed her eyes. She hadn't realized she'd actually fallen asleep until the sound of someone knocking on her door pulled her out of her slumber. She opened her eyes and listened a sense of deja vu came over her and when it came again she turned her head toward the balcony doors. She could see a shadow though the curtains and so she got up and walked over pushing them back. Adam was on the other side leaning against the glass, his hand poised in the shape of a fist ready to knock again. She slowly opened the door and peaked her head out. Before she could ask him if everything was alright, or to chastise him for waking her at five o'clock in the morning he reached in and pulled her from the doorway and out onto the porch, both hands grasped her shoulders and pulled her to the wall between their two rooms, one palm slapped against the wood next to her ear, the other went around her waist and pulled her bottom half to him. His top half moved forward and his lips found hers. Their kisses came fast and furious, were a bit sloppier than she would have liked but after a feverish minute they slowed found there mark better became deeper yet more insistent. He tasted like cake and champagne, he smelled like freshly mowed grass and the salt air of the beach. His tongue found hers and she moaned slightly and let hers respond. Her limbs refused to move though she felt frozen in her spot, the wood of the wall behind her was scratching through her tank top and cutting into her skin. She wanted to reach out and grab him, run her hands across his back, latch on to his shoulders from behind and urge him to pick her up and carry her to somewhere more comfortable but she couldn't move. When his hand found it's way to her backside a shiver ran though her body and her limbs came awake, she jumped like a car that hadn't been started in a while and her knees became jelly. Who'd have thought kissing could feel like this, she sure hadn't not ever with anyone and now she was experiencing it with her best friend. More fireworks exploded in her head and she started to slide down the wall but Adam brought her back up and held her.
" I forgot to tell you something earlier" he kissed her cheeks, her chin, her eyes "when we were on the beach." he kissed the tip of her nose and the he found the nap of her neck " You are beautiful. He laid soft kisses along her collar bone, " How is it possible to be both good girl and sex kitten at the same time? Can you tell me how you do it? How the best of both worlds could wrapped in such a fantastic package? I bet you don't even realize do you? What you can do? Do you Amelia? Do you know? At the very least can you feel what you do to me?" She'd never thought of herself as he described her, never seen herself though those eyes. She'd never thought herself anything more than average and at times far from what most men would find ideal. But at the moment she had no doubt that Adam was very keen on her, she didn't doubt that he was telling her the truth, he'd dated his share of curvy girls, his wanting her was far from a stretch but the more his hands grabbed at her, the harder his kisses became the more she couldn't help but think that his desire was fueled more by booze and the need to make something to happen. She didn't know much at the moment but she knew that she didn't want the first time she was with Adam to be while he was drunk and desperate. He moved into her again and this time she found the strength to step away, she pushed him back and he stumbled into the table and down onto it.
" Jesus Amelia, what the hell?" his voice was way to loud, he'd wake up the entire house.
" Shhhh It's five in the morning." she slapped at the air motioning him to take it down a notch.
" Ah who gives a fuck Amelia, my parents are on the other side of the house and everyone else probably hasn't gone to sleep yet." he found his balance, sat up straight on the edge of the table and glared at her. She wanted to punch him in the face for cursing at her but she stayed where she was. She also didn't appreciate the " your to damned uptight" glare he was giving her.
" As if that makes it ANY better Adam." she shook her head and noticing he was staring at her chest crossed her arms. She didn't back down and eventually his glare broke, his eyes softened and his shoulders slumped," I just thought…" he said quietly.
" What did you think Adam?" she let her stance soften as well, she was tired and stiff, she needed to relax, not let her anger get the better of her. This situation stunk of way to many weekends growing up. Her Dad drunk, her mother angry and unreceptive. She sighed and fought back tears. This was not going to be her life. She was not her Mother and contrary what his present state said about him Adam was not her Father.
" Oh Amelia, I….." he stopped and his shoulders slumped. He knew where her mind had gone, he'd heard it in many voiced concerns over the years about his drinking. He was right she thought, despite what she'd said earlier she did judge him for his past party boy ways, she'd have never asked him to stop but she had done as little as she could to support it and she probably silently condemned him for it on more than one occasion. " What did that kiss on the beach mean Amelia? Did you mean it or were you just trying to appease me? If it were the latter I'd rather you have not done it. It gave me hope."
" Hope of what? That I would jump right into bed with you? Come on Adam you can't be serious. You came up here fully expecting I would just give in, that kiss was supposed to give you hope Adam, hope that I was open to the idea but certainly it was not an invitation to come up here drunk off your ass looking for a piece of ass.. I am not that girl. What happened to wanting forever Adam? Do you think this scenario would have insured that?" she shook her head and gave him a look of disgust.
" Don't make this about your past Amelia, this isn't about them this is about us." He stood and came to her, she kept her arms folded, he tried to break them free, she held tightly. " Let me in Amelia." She didn't budge and when he bent his head to look into her eyes she kept them at the distance, the ocean once again her focal point to block everything else around her out. " Don't do this." he was pleading with her but she was to far gone. She'd shut down, nothing he would say would get through to her.
" Your killing me Amelia, I love you so freaking much and your standing here closed off from me and it's cutting me. What is it going to take? What do I have to do?" he choked back a sob. " I can't believe this shit, I really can't. I just can't deal." his hands slide away.
He stormed away from her slamming his fist against the wall, rattling the thermometer shaped like a dolphin hanging just above where his hand made contact. " Fuck me" he mumbled as he found his door and slid it open walking though it and slamming it hard behind him.
Her arms finally loosened and fell to her side, she found her ability to breath and took in several gulps letting the air fill her lungs and push out the bad feeling she had growing in the pit of her stomach. She had hurt him but he had expected to much to soon. She wouldn't feel sorry for not going to a place she wasn't ready to go but that didn't mean the tears didn't come. She waited until she was back in her room, in the bathroom, with the door closed before she let them fall but fall they did. She cried for the hurt she felt and had caused, she cried for the pain she felt that second and the pain of her past, she cried for the idea of what could have been and for what might now be over, a perfect friendship forged over seven years ruined in a moment.
Amelia woke up on the floor of the bathroom, she hadn't wanted him to hear her cry and so she'd stayed there on his mothers plush rug and cried til she'd fallen asleep. She was curled in as tight of a ball as her body could manage and it took her quite some time before she could undo her contortionist pose. Her muscles ached and her joints creaked, neither of them were happy with her. She struggled though her morning routine, it was well past breakfast, half way through brunch but she didn't care. She doubted after the late night of the houses inhabitants that anyone else was walking around bright eyed and bushy tailed this miserable excuse for a morning. She dressed and pulled her hair back in a ponytail, they were supposed to spend the afternoon at the beach and then head back into the city she wished that they were going now and thought about cutting out on her own and taking another jitney home. She didn't want to see any one, she wanted to be alone, to think and to not have to deal with the possible repercussions of last night. She wasn't going to get the chance to avoid that though for when she opened the doors to the balcony instead of heading out the bedroom door and heading downstairs she came face to face with Adam. He was sitting right outside the door on the wicker swing it was as still as he was. A plate of food was laid out in front of him, fruit and bagels and cups of yogurt, none of it didn't look like it had been touched.
He acknowledged her arrival not with a glance in her direction or a smile but with an" You hungry?"
She wasn't but she figured the food would serve as a distraction. " A little" she replied.
She sat sideways in the lounger she'd napped in the day before and watched him as he put some food on another plate. He knew what and how she liked everything and instead of her usual protest she let him prepare the plate without a word. He didn't look like he was suffering from any ill effects from the night before, well at least not from the drink, but she saw the hurt in his eyes when he looked at her briefly while handing her the plate of food. The look wounded her and made her nervous. The plate shook in her hand so she placed both on her knee and popped a piece of melon in her mouth with the other hand.
" I am sorry about last night Amelia. I had a little to much to drink and a little to much excitement and I should have never knocked on your door. I just kept thinking after you left that I hadn't told you were beautiful on the beach. I hadn't wanted it to be the starting point of my declaration. I figured it would make everything else I wanted to say sound shallow after, make me a typical man, commenting on the physical first but I hadn't meant to leave it out entirely. You looked amazing last night, I couldn't take my eyes off of you, I found you everywhere even when you were standing here after leaving the party. Your hair down, your face scrubbed, you pj's on. I couldn't see you closely but I could see what you looked like in my head. I've seen you like that hundreds of times, fresh and clean, smelling so sweet, looking so young. The image stuck with me the rest of the night and when I finally came inside and climbed up the stairs it was still there. I sat on the edge of my bed and tried to fight off the urge but eventually I couldn't' stand it I had tell you then and when I knocked on your door that was all I had planned to do. Just tell you that and then say goodnight. But then I saw you and I felt that rush of desire flow through me and I didn't think, I just did. I should have stayed in my room, I knew better." He clinched and unclenched his intertwined hands and found her face. " I made a mistake Amelia and I apologize for that but you have to know I am not your Father. I have treated you with respect and as an equal our entire friendship and I don't want that man and his mistakes thrown in my face every time I make a misstep. It's not fair. You dump all that baggage on him, not me."
His words stung, she felt the the normal reaction of retaliation rising up inside her but she beat it back down. It was easy to feel like the injured party, it took a bigger person to listen, understand where the other person was coming from and let go of your end of the animosity. She needed to be the bigger person here for no matter how she felt about what happened last night Adam's hurt came from far fresher wounds.
" I am sorry to, sorry I hurt you. I wasn't rejecting you." He gave her a side isn't that exactly what you did glance. " Okay I was then but that doesn't mean I was rejecting the idea of you and me as a whole. I need some time Adam. I know what you want and now I am telling you what I want. I want a chance to let everything that has happened the last two days sink in. I want to let the idea of you looking at me like you did last night sink into my skin, to fantasize about the way you kissed me, the way you touched me, to wrap my head around the idea that all of the things you have done for me, have said to me, every time you smiled, laughed at a joke, kissed me on the cheek, held my hand, or looked at me from across a room had more meaning that I was smart enough to realize. I love you, you are closer to me than my own blood, the best friend I have ever had. I don't want to loose you, I don't want to make you promises I can't keep and I don't want to fall into your arms and start something I am not sure I can finish. We'd never stand a chance of moving forward, of keeping our friendship if I did that."
" Amelia, I…" he paused and sucked in his bottom lip. It was what he did when he had something difficult to say. He went from looking understanding, to sad, to uncomfortable in a seconds time.
She felt the anxiety rise inside her, she was afraid of what he was going to say, that there was no going back for him, that no matter what he wouldn't be able to just be friends with her, not any more. He'd opened the can, and regrets or not it couldn't be closed back up. There was now an expiration date on their connection. She either moved forward or she let him go. He didn't need to say it, she conveyed to him silently that she understood but begged not to hear him say it out loud. He didn't.
" I've decided to stay here when everyone else leaves tonight, I know you need time and I want to give that to you but every time I see you I can't help but want to push the issue and that isn't going to do anything good for either of us. Dad had asked me to take a few days off and stay with him and Mom with everything that has happened it seems like the best idea. Being down the street from you is just to close. I need more space, to keep me from doing anything else stupid."
" Okay, I understand. You have to do what you think is best." She had to agree that space would be a good thing.
" I can arrange for a car for you if you don't want to go back on the jitney with everyone else?" He wanted to spare her.
" That won't be necessary I will go back with everyone else" She wasn't thrilled about the idea of being on the bus with curious eyes on her all the way home but she figured her leaving on her own would be talked about even more.
" There isn't much day left, everyone is hung over or still asleep. Good thing nothing concrete was planned for the day, it all would have been for nothing." He went over to the railing and looked out at the water. " I'm gonna take a walk." he didn't extend an invitation for her to join him. He left her sitting there and made his way to his bedroom door, this time there was no punches or slamming doors. Right before he went through, he turned back. " Did I ruin any real chance I had last night?"
She turned to look at him. " No!" She said it as emphatically as she could.
He gave her a slight smile and nod " I love you Amelia, I am still holding onto the hope that you will love me to." He closed the door before she could say anything else.
The rest of the afternoon went by quickly, Adam returned from his walk just as everyone else had finally made their way out onto the first floor patio and they all enjoyed a fairly quiet actual thirtieth dinner before retreating upstairs to gather their things and head out to the awaiting jitney. As Adam and his parents said their goodbyes, Brianna busied herself by jumping up and banging on the jitney windows, seemed she'd been made to stay in the Hamptons to. She was sure that would make for a very peaceful family get together. One by one each person made their way on the jitney and then it was time for her to say her goodbyes to. She shook Mr. Pierceson's hand and then gave Theresa a hug. She was aware that she was being watched but she didn't care, when Adam reached out to hug her she moved into him and clung to him.
" I will miss you" she whispered into his shirt.
" I will miss you to, I'll call you when I come back into the city?" he whispered back into her ear. She nodded her approval. He pulled back then and after giving her arms a squeeze he let her go.
" You all have some fun together" she put a bright smile on her face as she said it and waved at all of them before she boarded the jitney and found her seat. They watched each other until the jitney jerked to life and started down the drive. On the way home she worked on interacting with the others, laughing at jokes, answering when spoken to, if everyone was wondering what was going on between her and Adam or why he had changed his plans and stayed behind they didn't ask her. Eventually everyone got quiet, opening computers, talking or answering texts on their phones. The couples talked in low voices to one another. She was starring out the window watching the scenery go by thinking of what Adam would be doing now when David approached her row.
" May I have a seat" Amelia sat up and looked to where his wife was sitting, she couldn't any part of her.
" She's asleep across the seat, not feeling well." The jitney hit a bump which sent David lurching forward almost tumbling over, several people looked in their direction. The last thing she wanted was for him to sit down but she moved her stuff from the adjacent seat quickly for no other reason than to get him out of the aisle. The sooner he said what he had to say the sooner he'd go away. He sat down and waited for her to get herself situated before he spoke.
" I am taking it things didn't go to well?" he was sitting sideways in the seat, resting his arm on the rest. He was far closer than she'd have liked.
She sighed, exasperated. " Are you really expecting me to talk to you about this?"
" Who else you going to talk to Amelia, you just left your best friend and confidant a broken man in the Hamptons." Right for the gut shot, of course that hadn't changed.
" What did he tell you?" she turned to face him putting her back to the window giving herself the most room possible.
" That he made a play and that you turned him down. He didn't go into details but I know he was chomping at the bit last night so I got a couple of ideas of what he did. He was drunk to and I know how well that would have gone over." he chuckled at some long ago personal memory.
" How much did you have to do with his inebriation? You sure did him in the night before."
" Honestly I tried to keep him from drinking, the champagne was already going to his head when you left but after that he just kept at it, I did my best to keep him away from the hard stuff but champagne can have just as much of a kick when drank in mass quantities. Guess he didn't know how to handle what was going on between the two of you. I know he hasn't drank like that in a long time. Not since I left town. You didn't quite turn him into a teetotaler but he sure wasn't the raging potential drunk he was before. He changed all that for you, you know that right? "
" I am aware" she looked down at her lap.
" You say so much with your disapproving, pitying looks Amelia. He couldn't help but know you were displeased. But honestly you were right, he needed to stop. It's time to grow up he's not a kid any more and if he wants a serious relationship he needs to lead a more serious life." the jitney stopped suddenly and David instinctively put his arm out to keep her from falling forward. Before the moment could register he stood and then immediately walked a couple isles up to check on Samantha. " She's still sleeping, doesn't look like she moved an inch." he sat back down.
" Look Amelia, you are good for him and he is good for you. You like to keep your options open, keep part of you closed off and a door unlocked for you to escape out of when the shit hits the fan. We were together five years and I NEVER got in all the way. It was part of the reason I did what I did, I couldn't handle the fact your heart would never be completely mine."
" Don't go there David, cause you know none of that is any excuse" she saw red but contained herself.
"I know I was a shit and I'm not looking to start a fight with you. What is done is done with us but you have a chance for something real with Adam. Let him in Amelia, give him a go. If you don't you will regret it and I am not talking about the fact he thinks he can't be around you anymore unless you are a couple. He thinks that, says it now, but he won't be able to follow through. He may need some time and he may say or do some stupid shit if you turn him down but eventually he will come around. I have seen people do some fucked up shit to Adam, myself included and he is always there. When you are his friend you are his friend for life. Don't keep making the same mistakes or you'll end up alone."
It wasn't that easy, not for her but she didn't say another word.
" Yeah, go home over think things, it's what you do." one last parting shot.
" You take care Amelia." He stood and went back to his seat, he made sure Samantha was comfortable but didn't disturb her and instead sat in an empty seat across the aisle. She watched him watching her for minute until the realization that he really loved her hit her in the face and forced her to turn away. He was happy, settled and where was she? Limbo…..
The days of the week went by in a blink, she had tons of appointments which helped her though her days, she was to busy to think or be depressed or miss Adam. The nights however were another thing all together. They were restless, sleepless, filled with the same thoughts over and over. Her mind would not shut off and she was running on about six hours of sleep total by Friday afternoon. She was sitting in her favorite when she actually got to eat lunch lunch spot picking her way though the salad in front of her when Brenda plopped down across from her.
" You, no offense my dear, look like hell. You've been moping around for days and avoiding conversing with me about it since you returned from your weekend away. Now I am not one to pry BUT you clearly need to speak to someone and since Adam seems to be MIA and more than likely the reason for this current state I am taking it upon myself to be your ear. Also more than likely your voice of reason." she opened her bottle of Perrier and flipping off the top piece of bread on her turkey sandwich sprinkled some salt and pepper on the tomatoes. " Now spill."
' Long story short" Brenda was the type to like an abbreviated assessment of the situation as possible. " Adam is in love with me and I am an idiot because I never realized it."
Brenda stopped,mouth half open sandwich in mid-air. She plopped it back down on it's plate." Well shit"
" You ain't kidding and it has really thrown me for a loop." she fiddled with her fork " and now to top it all off he is angry with me, or at least hurt by me and he stayed in the Hamptons with is parents to keep his distance from me." Brenda waved her own for more information. " He made a drunken pass and I shot him down and the next morning I asked for space and then I got it."
" Well I can't say I blame him for staying in the Hamptons, lord knows I'd rather be there than here right now myself and I can't blame him for giving you what you asked for either. Frankly Amelia when you are running something around in your head you are a pain in the ass to be around. You are surly and short and sometimes down right nasty. So you will have to forgive me if I get why he would want to let you figure your shit out all on your own."
Brenda's assessment of her wasn't off the mark and while the delivery stung she didn't have any retorts that wouldn't just end up proving her point.
"Honestly Amelia, I don't see what the problem is, it's evident the boy is smitten with you and you are a happier person when he is around and well you've been my favorite couple for some time now so what the hell is the difference if you to start looking at your constant togetherness as if you are dating verses just friends? You certainly could use the sex in your life and it wouldn't hurt for you to get back up on the saddle and take a boy for a few rides around the dating world. Your not getting any younger and all that independent woman shit gets you no where, not when you really are only using it as a shield. Some of us, like me are actually fine with being a solo artist, you however are not one of those women, I know and you can keep telling yourself that you are but you are NOT! You got a great guy, hot and with all his hair, a good job, one he is unlikely to get fired from, who knows how to have a good time, who melds to your whims and treats you like a princess most of the time so what the hell is your main mal function?" Brenda gave her a pointed look, one that said that no more analyzing of the situation was needed and that Amelia was to take in what she had said and then do it. Amelia just smiled and shook her head and ate the rest of her lunch. They walked together back to Saks and before going in Brenda took hold of her arm.
" Do you love him? That is the only question you need to answer. If you do then you go for it, you take a chance, stop being so damned cautious and you let him in. If you don't then you have to be strong enough to say that, to not be selfish and drag him along and be able to let him go. Once the declaration has been made it can't be taken back and you may have been oblivious before but no longer and I doubt he will be able to free himself of you. He'll want to stay around and he will pretend to be your friend when inside he is dying for you. You wouldn't want to do that to him would you Amelia? No of course you wouldn't so make a decision and deal with what comes from it no matter what."
Amelia nodded and held the door open for Brenda to walk through first, they went back to their days but that last question Brenda posted ran through her mind the entire time. As she rehung and replaced the rejected gowns of her last client, as she walked to the subway, sat on the train back to Queens, stopped in at her favorite Chinese place for something to comfort her and then up the stairs of her building and through her front door she thought about it. She gave Lizzy some pets and then sat her bags on the coffee table. She wondered into the kitchen to put her food down and feed her girl and it was as she came back up from dropping in Lizzy's scoop that she saw the light on her answering machine was blinking. She walked over hit button with one hand and opened the fridge with the other.
She expected it to be a telemarketer or her Mother the only people who ever left her messages on her home phone but as she reached in to pull out a soda she stopped. The voice on the line wasn't anyone she expected, it was Adam.
" Hey I'm back. I'm heading to bed here in a few though so don't call me back. I will give you a call tomorrow." and with that the message ended. She looked at the clock on the microwave it was just after ten. On a normal Friday night going to bed this early for Adam would have been sacrilege. She sincerely doubted that he was actually sleeping and his leaving the message on the machine was his passive aggressive way of telling her he was home and that he didn't want to talk to her at that moment without actually risking having to talk to her. Even when he knew she was home he called her cell first. She sighed and got her dinner ready, she wasn't going to force the issue. She'd give him the night but tomorrow they would talk.
She didn't eat much just a small plate her once ravenous appetite had been lost and after a couple of hours of half watching TV she turned it off and got ready for bed. She tossed and turned til around two. Sleep was not going to come her mind was just to cluttered. So instead of lying in the bed looking at the ceiling and getting more and more frustrated she got up and walked out into the living room. Lizzy who was perched on the top level of her cat condo near the window looked up as she walked in, her ears perked up and she got that hopeful are you going to feed me look.
" No way missy you just ate a little while ago" Lizzy gave one glance at the kitchen but then put her head back in her paws. She walked over and gave her a scratch behind the ears. Lizzy purred with delight.. "What a lovely view you have tonight sweet girl" The moon was full and large seemingly peeking into her home far closer than normal, there were clouds rolling across the sky around it though, dulling it's shine. Lizzy gave her hand a bump leading it where she wanted to be scratched next and Amelia looked away from the moon and around the room, a photo on a bookcase on the far wall caught her eye. It was of her and Adam last summer in Cooperstown. Adam had surprised her with a trip up the week of inductions. They had stayed at this great little motel on a lake and the photo was of them sitting on the dock together the first full day of their trip. Adam had been awake before her and had pulled her out of bed and down to the dock where he had set up their breakfast. She'd been grumpy at first but by the time the orange juice had been poured and the muffins buttered she'd been laughing. All around her house there were photos of them, in groups or alone, but always together. There was photos of them at the ball park, in Times Square for New Years, at the Spanish place they loved down the street, on the beach in the Hamptons. So many great memories, some of the happiest of her life. The last two years were probably the best she had ever known, how could she let that go?
She took in a deep breath and it stuck in the pit of her stomach, a sharp stabbing pain ran through her and she bent forward in an effort to relieve it. She wrapped her arms around her middle and fought back the tears, but they came anyway. The realization of what she was going to loose hit her with all four barrels and it just about knocked her to the floor. Her knees buckled and she found the chair making it into just as the heaving sobs over took her. Whatever fear she had about taking that next step was outweighed ten fold by the idea that she'd loose Adam all together. He made her laugh, held her when she cried, talked when she needed advice and kept silent when she needed an ear to listen. He cared for her, took care of her, accepted her for who she was. She couldn't live with out him, she wouldn't live without him. She loved him to damned much. She stood and quickly walked into her bedroom, she grabbed the jeans hanging on the end of her bed and pulled them on, she put on a a bra and pulled the first tee shirt out of a drawer. She slipped on some flats, grabbed her phone off the top of the dresser and then her keys on the hook near the front door. She didn't want to stop now that the thought was in her head, she had to keep moving so when she opened the front door she blew Lizzy a kiss and walked out, she didn't wait for the elevator instead she ran down the stairs and out the front door into the night. She walked quickly down the blocks between their two places and let herself into his building with the keys he had given her long ago. When she got to his door she hesitated, she steeled herself and put the key in the door, she knew he wouldn't have the chain on he never did and the door opened quickly, quietly and she was in and had it shut behind her in a second. The hall was dark he didn't have the habit of leaving at least one light on like she did so she took a moment to let her eyes adjust. There were piles of stuff all along the hall floor, probably dropped and forgotten the moment after he'd come in the door. They would stay there for days or weeks if she didn't keep on him about being a slob. She zig zagged her way around the mess and down the hall until she got to his bedroom door. It was ajar but not completely open, she moved into it and took a look inside. She could see his figure lying on the bed, he was on his side facing away from her. She opened the door the rest of the way and slipped inside. He stirred but didn't wake. If she were a robber he'd be dead meat, the thought of which sickly tickled her and she stifled a laugh it came out as a snort. She covered her mouth but it was to late.
" What???" Adam turned over and looked in her direction, fear, anger and then recognition ran across his face. " Amelia? What are you doing? " He looked at the clock, registered the time and then looked at her again, this time in concern. " Are you okay?"
"Yes I am fine. I used my key, I needed to talk to you."
" It's three in the morning Amelia, it couldn't have waited until later?" He blinked and tried to shake away the sleep.
" No. I needed to talk to you now." Her hands were shaking, she clasped them together and held them tight.
" Okay give me a minute and I'll get up and we can talk." he sat up.
" NO! You stay there, you don't have to get up."
" You want to talk right here? With me in the bed and you standing in the corner of my room looking like a little girl lost?" he tilted his head to the side. " Are you sure you are okay Amelia? You don't have to do or say anything if your not ready to. You look like your going to have a stroke or pass right out onto the floor."
" I am fine really, I just want you to stay right where you are. Can you please just do that?" She looked down at her feet bit her bottom lip "I need to perform an experiment and you being where you are is just perfect for it. First things first a question? Have you had anything to drink tonight?"
" Not a drop since I saw you last. he replied softly "Trust me our last night put me right and sober."
" Good, that's good." she kicked off her shoes as Adam continued.
" I know I shouldn't have come at you like that, it was so stupid, I feel like an utter shit and I am am sorry."
" I know you are Adam, I know you weren't trying to hurt me, you were trying to build your courage and if I wasn't so damned ridged and difficult at times you wouldn't have had to do that. You've never done anything like that before and I know you won't do anything like that again. I am sorry to, for making you feel bad. I was scared and I let my baggage get in the way. I can't promise that won't happen again, won't risk it but I am going to work on it, that I can promise. You and I are good, we will always be good." She reached under her tee and pulled at the button of her jeans. She shimmed out of them and tossed them on the chair behind her.
Adam started to say her name again but it got caught in his throat, their eyes met he shook his head " Do you know what you are doing?"
" Yes" she replied with more confidence that she really possessed and with her eyes still locked to his she pulled off her underwear and kicked it to the side. Adam fell back onto the bed muttering to himself a combination of prayers that he wasn't dreaming and curse words. She walked over to the bed and pulled back the sheets before he could stop her, she had figured when he hadn't hopped right out of the bed that he was naked and she'd been right, but she tried not to let the fact it had been far to long since she'd been this close to a naked man betray her by staring in wonder for more than a second. She put one knee onto the bed and then pushed herself up and on to straddle him. His hands came to her hips immediately. " Who are you and what have you done with Amelia?" he gave her hips a squeeze which made her jump and grab his hands. She pulled them off and pushed them back so that they were lying on the pillow on each side of his head, she moved forward so she was now crushed against his chest and she wrapped her fingers within his. " I wanted to see if all that desire you had the other night would still be there when you were sober. I wanted to feel that you want me without any outside lubrication." She felt his body start to twitch underneath her, the rise and fall of his chest increased and his heart thumped fast against the fabric of her tee. She could feel something else starting to rise as well and her body responded to it in kind, heat exploded off of her and she involuntarily grinded herself against him.
Adam smiled slyly looked back at his pinned hands and then lifted his pelvis just enough to make her sigh." So your experiment, am I giving you the results you had anticipated?" she smiled back, " Well surely they are the ones I had hoped for" He grabbed her hands tightly and pushed himself upward until he was sitting upright, he let go of her hands and grabbed her legs she lifted just enough so that he could pull them behind him and they could both get comfortably situated. " Do you really think the only way I would want you was if I was inebriated? Cause if you did you are such a fool, it's true I've been punch drunk in love with you for seven years but I don't need a drop of anything to want you, I want you all the damned time, it kills me at times. Just the site of you can send me reeling, I have never wanted anything more than I want you, in every possible way." he tilted his head to the side and moved in and kissed her, the heat coming from them both finding another point of conduction as their lips met over and over, softly, sweetly but with a growing sense of urgency. " Did you come here to seduce me Amelia?" he whispered into her lips
" That was the idea" she murmured back, she ran her hands across his neck pulling lightly at the little bit of hair at it's nape.
" Are you sure?" He pulled back " I don't want you to rush into this, I don't need this." she raised an eyebrow and smirked at him, she saw scarlet run across his face clearly he needed this. " Well yeah I wouldn't mind not by a long shot but a week ago you weren't sure you even wanted to date me much less fu…" she put a hand over his mouth. " I know what I want now. This week was shit without you, I thought about you all the time and picked up the phone over and over to call you and knowing that I couldn't hurt so bad. I sat in my apartment tonight knowing you were right down the street and that you were still mad and scared enough to not even what to see me, to talk to me, and I couldn't take it. The idea of loosing you makes every part of me depressed and I want to take this leap and have faith in all that we have been to one another and build on that. To see where we can go now. You could never make me do anything I didn't want to do, I am here and I plan to have my way with you." she grabbed hands full of hair and pulled on them " but just so you know this by no means gets you off the hook when it comes to dating, I fully expect to be wined and dinned. You don't get out of all of the traditional courting methods just because we have known each other so long. Do we understand one another?"
He enveloped her into his arms pulling her as close as she could get and held her tightly, " You can have anything you want Amelia, go anywhere you want, get anything you want. You name the time and the place and I am there, in a suit and a tie if you want as long as you are there across the table from me. No matter what we do or where we go that will make any evening complete for me." Her head rested on his shoulder and she ran her fingertips up and down his back " You and me, together, that is all that matters." she sighed and any doubt remaining left her, she hadn't felt this happy, a moment this perfect in so long. She was in his arms and it was right. When their embrace finally loosened he freed her hands and put them over her head, Adam slowly moved her shirt up and over and let his fingertips run across the skin of her sides, heating it up and making her shiver at the same time. He unsnapped the hooks on her bra and pulled it off, flinging it like a sling shot across the room. She let him take her in, normally she'd be slightly insecure but the way he looked at her told her there was no need and she let him roll her onto the bed, cradling her head in his hands and kiss her face, her neck and on and on. As they explored one another she felt herself fed into his desire and that made the every touch, kiss, stroke and nibble even more intense and then for a moment the thought of not being able to please him crept into her head and she stopped and pushed him back.
" You know that it's been a while right? For me? " he tried to nuzzle back into her " Been a while for me to but if you let me I can remedy that for both of us" she pushed his face away, " No really what if it sucks?" He stopped trying to kiss her, moved the hair of out his face and shook his head, his face filled with amusement. " Amelia, it's like riding a bike and even though you haven't been on a bike in a while you seem to have a pretty good grasp on your refresher course so far, besides I know for a fact that you will not suck and that you and me together will certainly not suck." He was openly grinning at her in his very wicked way. " Guys talk to you know?"
" Oh hell" it was one of the unavoidable bi-products of having a best friend that used to be best friends with your ex she supposed, she shouldn't be at all surprised that David had spilled his guts, no point in being embarrassed about it especially since he'd apparently given her a glowing review " Well I guess that gives you an extra advantage in this situation now doesn't it? I suppose you had better put it to good use." She grinned back at him, with equally evil intent and then gladly became quiet and let him remedy both of their droughts. He was right it certainly did not suck, in fact it was fanfuckingtastic!
After she lay in the crook of his arm their bodies til wrapped around each other, Adam breathing deeply into her hair, just a moment away from sleep. " Adam?" he hummed a response into the back of her head. " The night of your almost birthday party you asked me if I was waiting around for someone like David and I wasn't." She turned her face toward him " I was waiting for someone like you." he opened his eyes, his face filled with happiness " I wasn't sure if you were going to be able to make the leap, I prayed and begged that this would happen, that you would be able to see the idea of us and you did. I have been waiting or you so long but I don't regret a single second cause it brought me here to this moment." he tugged and jostled her letting his natural exuberance take over for a moment and then he pulled her in and held her even closer " I love you so damned much Amelia. I'm going to make you so very happy."
" I love you to and you already do, you already have made me happy. I have been so lucky and I am excited. A new chapter for you and me. Best friends and lovers sounds like a pretty good deal to me." she snuggled in grateful for his warmth. Content to be with him, hopeful for the future, happy to have found something good with someone exactly like him.
No comments:
Post a Comment