The Wonder that is Abigail!

Eight years ago I meet her, the little creature that changed my life forever. Six years ago this past Monday ( Dec 5th 2011) she came to live with me. Abigail the calico cat has taught me many things during our time together. She has made me more patient, less selfish and taught me how amicably share my personal space. She has cultivated and bloomed my love for animal species other than my own. She has shown me never failing unconditional love & support and unlike so many others has never let me down. She has made me capable of a love and devotion I didn't think I possessed within me. She has bettered my life in more ways than I have bettered hers. I am grateful that she came into my life and that she lets me live in hers.

   This year Abby has taught me what it really means to be a fighter. To keep living, moving forward despite and in spite of the trials or tribulations life throws at you. In May of this year I found a mass on Abigail's left back paw pad. At first we believed it to be caused by an injury. It was treated with antibiotics and began to shrink. I thought that was the end. At the end of June when the mass started to grow again it was decided it needed to be removed and tested.

 It came back positive for Mast Cell Cancer. The normal behavior for this type of  (single sight) cancer (which is more prevalent in dogs) is remove the digit and spreading is usually not an issue. The recovery from the amputation was difficult. Abby refused to leave the sight alone whenever she was de-coned and this caused several set back in the healing process. She ended up spending more than a month in a cone. It was August before we saw nothing but forward movement in her recovery. Eventually though the foot healed, the precautionary biopsies that were taken on her internal organs came back clean and I thought it was the end

In October while playing with her I discovered a lump in the thigh of her left leg. Immediately I made an appointment but I knew what they would find. The look on the Doctors face when she examined her told me she knew what it was to. An aspirate of the sight done in then and there showed the cancer had spread. Further treatment would be needed, a specialist would need to be contacted ( luckily the one specialized oncologist in Northern Florida is located in my immediate area). Two days later More biopsies were performed at the Oncologists request. They to came back clean (which was a positive sign for recovery) Within a week I was sitting in the specialists clinic waiting for my consultation. Abby sitting patiently in her carrier on patients table. The choices for treatment were amputation, with chemo or radiation and chemo. I had already decided I could not put her through the amputation. Even though everyone said she could have made it through it, my thoughts were that Abby being a proud cat would have a hard time and that her previous recovery issues would make the rest of her treatment even more difficult on her. It was decided we would remove the lymph node and start a course of radiation and chemotherapy. The removal of the lymph node though became a mute point when over the weekend I discovered several small legions on Abby's body. This meant that the cancer was no longer centralized. The operation was now an option that brought nothing but undo risk. We had started the radiation immediately. She took to it without any issue. The lymph node tumor showed improvement after the first course. The chemo, vinblastine however was another story. After her second course (on a Thursday) Abby became lethargic and feverish. Over the weekend her appetite began to dwindle and I came home from work Monday to find she had vomited what little she had been able to eat that day. I rushed her to her regular doctor where a CBC was performed. In the three days since the chemo had been administered her white cell count had crashed and was almost non-existent. She was unable to fight off infection because of her comprised immune system. She was septic. Her condition was dire and she spent two days at the clinic, getting intravenous fluids, antibiotics and a dose of a drug that forced her white blood cells to reproduce quickly.

I missed her like crazy. I worried nonstop. It took her several more days after returning home to regain her appetite ( with the help of stimulants) and because she missed a course of radiation and chemo her body broke out with new legions. Several of which were huge and frightening to see. She received radiation on each new legion, it worked wonders and when she was done with her radiation the lymph node tumor was less than 1/2 it's original size. The next course of chemo though caused another bad but not as drastic reaction. It was caught much earlier and she received a shot of a monthly anti-biotic and it was decided to try a different tact. The medication was supposed to be curing her, not killing her. The idea that I could be rushing her towards an early death haunted me. There would be no more of that chemo given to my girl.

The Doctor of course concurred and a new chemo, palladia was given to me to administer at home. She suffered no ill effects and at her two week check up her CBC panel was great, the doctor found no new legions, her pre-existing ones were responding well. For three weeks there was nothing but positive and then last Friday ( Dec 2nd 2011) I found new legions. Almost a dozen, mostly on her upper body and face. Another call had to be made, a conversation with Abby's Doctor was added to our preexisting check up visit. Every step forward is meet with another step backward.
    I was dumbfounded. How could she develop new legions when the ones she had were becoming smaller. How could the new ones pop up so quickly and yet become smaller over the next few days? Seems that Abby's mast cell tumors are presenting themselves in two different ways. When the Doctor looks at them under the microscope some have granules within them and others don't. So what do we do now? A chemo cocktail. Continue with the palladia but start yet another more traditional chemotherapy pill, half the normal dose to see how she reacts to it and hope that in combination they will irradiate her current legions and keep any others from forming. Her CBC counts, temperature and blood work at this latest visit were all normal. Her appetite has been steady for weeks and she gained back 1/2 pound since her  hospitalization.
Abby has lived her life on her terms this entire ordeal. She sleeps wherever she wants for as long as she wants, she plays with her toys, she wakes her Momma up at the butt crack of dawn (work or not) to put food in her bowl if it is empty or play with her if she is board. She grooms and primps herself to perfection. She stares out the window at the squirrels. She looks at her Mother like she is nuts when she goes to take yet another picture. She gives her hell whenever she is made to take her medicine. She lives a cat's life of riley. And with the exception of the two week period she was septic and recovering ( even after her amputation surgery she still acted as though nothing was wrong with her, which was part of the problem) you would never know that she is sick. Her lust for life, her ability to live her life normally is what keeps me moving. It is what gives me hope. It is what makes me keeps me working hard to help her no matter what setbacks occur. She is my baby girl, my best buddy, the love of my life!  I can do no less than everything possible!!

    This week despite the newest challenge to her recovery we happily celebrated her tenth birthday and our sixth anniversary. I bought her a new blanket, some tuna in spring water, gave her a some gingerbread cookie crumbles. I gave her tons of kisses and hugs & took pictures until she was blind. When her appointment at the Doctor was done the next day Abby's nurses brought her out in a birthday hat they made just for her.
She looked adorably cute and it touched me that they care so much about her there.They are good people (who she totally has wrapped around her finger). I cried. For a change these days they were tears of joy! Here's to many more happy moments,days,months and years...... We keep our fingers and paws crossed for health and happiness!!.

Abigail looking peaceful and content in her pink flower bed four days before her passing. Feb 12 2012

Update: Abby continued to fight valiantly through the remainder of December and January but the Mast Cell cancer could not be stopped. It spread across her entire body in the matter of weeks. On the first week of Febuary I sat down with Abby's doctors and talked drastic measures. There was not much left to loose as Abby's cancer was progressing quickly. We discussed to possible options one was to try a full dose of the chemotherapy Lomustine the other was to do a full body radiation on Abby in order to kill any active cancer cells on her skin. The radiation was an expensive option, one that had been offered before but there was no way that I could afford it. At this visit the Doctor offered to do the procedures for free. But first she wanted to try the Lomustine to see if a full dose ( which she had not been given to that point) would make a difference in the current mast tumors and stop the progression of any new legions.  Being that the chemo had had such a negative effect in the past she was given a white blood cell booster, and an anti-biotic with the chemo. Abby did not have as negative a reaction to the chemo with these two precautionary measures taken. It seemed that the tumors on her body were starting to become smaller.

Wrapped in her catnip blanket,she loved it

Playing with her catnip mouse Feb 2nd 2012

Unfortunately we will never know if that was the case. On Feb 16th 2012 I awoke to find Abby in her bed having trouble breathing. She has not exhibited any problems when we had turned out the lights the night before but it was clear that she was in distress. I contacted the Doctor on call from the Oncologist and rushed Abby to the clinic. It was discovered that Abby had an enlarged heart, cause both by the progression of her decease and the drugs she had to take in order to try and cure her. She was given two month, and her life would consist of more medications which when you tried to give them to her she would become extremely agitated and stressed. There was no way I could put her through any more. Her heart had given out, the fight was now over and the only thing I could now do for her was to let her go. My Best friend was with me when we sat in the comfort room and said our goodbyes. I sang to her You are my Sunshine, told her how much I loved her and how sorry I was that I we weren't able to get her well. I asked her for forgiveness if I waited to long to let her go. I told her that she would be whole again once she crossed the rainbow bridge, no more "sicky" no more medicines but that no matter what I would always love her more than anything in the whole wide world. The Doctor came in and started the giving her the medications that would stop her heart. She was lying on my chest, we were heart to heart and I felt one last powerful thump go through her and strike me in the chest. My baby girl was gone.

Abby's last photo Feb 16th 2012

Abby's memorial

She had been ready to go. She left this world with her dignity intact. She was a fighter til the very end. She gave all she had. She loved me unconditionally and I know that she held on to hope for as long as she could because she wanted to be there for me. She was a kind loving soul despite the trials and tribulations she had experienced before she came to be with me. She was the very best  companion a human could ask for. She spoiled me for any and all that may come after her. I will remember her with the utmost fondness and I will honor and cherish her memory all the rest of my days.
Her remains sit prominently on a shelf where I can say good morning and good night and talk to her when I need to.


































I know that someday we will be together again & the love we had here on earth will transcend into the afterlife. Until then she will be my guardian Angel Kitty, and watch over me and her new little baby sister. Three days after Abby's passing I found that I simply could NOT be in my home alone. It was just to much and I feared that I would fall so deep into a depression over her loss I wouldn't be able to pull myself out of it. So I went with my Best friend to the local Petsmart and adopted Miss Elizabeth Bennett from Animal Care and Control.

Miss Lizzy

She came right up to me and put her paw through the bars to grab my finger. She gave it a lick and gave me a look, the same one that Abby had given me the first time we met. I swear that Abby lead me to Lizzy and that she was whispering into Lizzy's ear what she needed to do to hook me. Lizzy and Abby are very different, we are slowly getting to know one another's personalities. But I am very happy to have Lizzy in my life. To have given her the same chance at a good life that I was able to give Abigail. I know that I did everything I possibly could for Abby but there are still a few regrets that I will always carry and a part of me is angry, I feel cheated, that she was taken from me to soon. That she had deserved better. I will however always cherish the time I was given she was in my life for eight years and in that time she forever changed me. She made me a better more loving person. I believe that that was her purpose and she more than fulfilled it. Be at peace, healthy and happy my sweet Abby girl. Momma loves you! 0:)